clean

me: nate? what are you doing?
*i hear a scratchy scratchy sound and i turn around from where i'm bent over the tub cleaning
nate: yah.
*he gives me a big grin and continues scrubbing the top of the closed toilet lid with the toilet brush
me: nate! no sir! that's yucky!
*i take the brush away
nate: noooooooooo!

moments before he decided he needed to help, nate had seen me scrubbing out the inside of the toilet with the bowl brush. how cute, clever, and gross all at the same time.

biper

nate: biper!
*he hands me a dipaer
me: do you need your diaper changed?
nate: yah.
* he pats his bottom
nate: poopoo.

i hope this means he'll be easier to potty train than his brother was.

zoo

asher: mom? i think this rhino needs a slide.
me: a slide? ok, i think we can make that.
asher: and the elephant needs a roof, but only a little one. that way he can go in when it's raining, but be in the sun when it's sunny.
me: ok. you color the alligator's box. i think he needs some water.
asher: ok! mom! the ostrich & the zebra cannot live in the same box.
me: well, hand me another box to cut then!


asher, nate and i went to the zoo yesterday with my sister and her son, owen. papa gave us some money to get the boys a gift. we found a cute melissa & doug puzzle with chunky, wooden zoo animals. today, asher and i cut up and colored some old food boxes to make habitats for the animals. i'm pretty sure i had as much fun as he did.

and who knew that rhinos enjoy slides?

cake

me: asher! please stop licking icing and put the lid back on that cake. we have to eat lunch first.
asher: but, mom?
me: yes?
asher: there's just one, tiny piece left in there. are you pretty sure you don't want me to eat it now?
me: yes, i'm sure.
asher: *sigh* oooook.

distracted

asher: mom? i maybe need a little help here.
* he walks out of the bathroom with his underwear around his ankles
me: pulling up your underwear? are they twisted up?
asher: yeah, these undawears are getting a little distracted down there.

chick

asher: hey, you chick!
papa: what? i'm not a chick. i'm a dude. your mama is a chick.
asher: no, she's not.
papa: yes, she is.
asher: no, papa! she's not a chick because she's not an animal.
papa: she is a chick!
asher: no! she doesn't have feathers or a beak for a nose!
papa: hey, chicky chick!
asher: nooooooo!

my father is fond of aggravating. at christmas they had a toy reindeer in a rocking chair that would sing "grandma got run over by a reindeer" if you squeezed it's hoof. we heard variations of the following conversation over and over and over.

papa: asher got run over by a reindeer!
asher: no, papa. that's not how it goes.
papa: oh, i meant, nater got run over by a reindeer!
asher: no, papa! here. i will show you.
*asher squats down in front of the reindeer.
asher: reindeer, i will squeeze your foot and you sing and show papa how it goes, ok?
*before the reindeer finishes-
papa: see, it does say ASHER GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER!!!!
asher: papa! no, you're not listening!!

despite his love of aggravation, papa happens to be a favorite to all of his grandboys.

potty mouth

asher: mom? when you get bigger and you're a big boy then you'll get a diddle like me and nater and daddy.
me: nope, i won't. i'm a girl so that means i will never have a diddle.
asher: oh. we use our diddles to pee, but you're a girl, so you sit down and use your butt.
me: well, sort of.
asher: yeah.
me: yep.
asher: mom, you don't get to have a diddle like us big boys.

apparently, i have a very observant child. also, i need to start locking the bathroom door.

discipline

me: asher, what will happen if you choose to disobey right now?
asher: umm, either i will get a spank or we will go to the jungle.
me: i'm pretty sure we won't be going to the jungle, bud.
asher: awwww...

although going to the jungle does sound more fun than giving spanks.

waffles

asher: mom? can i have a little more syrup?
me: sure.
*i pour his syrup
asher: woah! woah, mom! take it easy with that.


you take it easy with the big boy talk, sir.

the c word

bryan: crap! wifey? i need your help. the trash bag broke!
me: ok.
asher: yeah, crap!
bryan: you can't say that word, asher.
me: you just said it. you should probably apologize.
bryan: ok, bud. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said that word. you can't say it either.
asher: buuuuuut daaaaaddy! i jus really like you and i want to be jus like you so i'm gonna say crap too.
bryan: oh, boy. we'll have a man heart-to-heart on the way to take the trash off. and don't look at me like that.
me: like what?
bryan: i can see a bazillion different i-told-you-so's in that look.

i realize that crap is a pretty tame word in today's world, but coming from the mouth of a 3 year old it just sounds so wrong.