a boy and his balloon

i took asher and nate on a trip to harris teeter this morning. as soon as we walked in the door asher asked:


asher: mom? can i have a bawoon?!
me: umm, we'll see when we're all done shopping.
asher: yeah! when we're all done!


can i just say that i hate flimsy, easily popped, then once popped easily inhaled, then once inhaled easily stuck in a toddler or baby's throat, then once stuck easily suffocating balloons? why do grocery stores think it's a good idea to give them to tiny children? needless to say, i was hoping he would just forget about it, but as we were checking out...

nice, good intending grocery store lady: would you like a balloon, sweetie?
asher: YES! A BAWOOOOOOOON!
NGIGSL: ok! what color?
asher: BWUUUUUUE!
NGIGSL: ok! you wait right here with your mama and i'll go get you one!

i thought about making a run for it while she was gone. i especially hate having balloons in the car because if it does pop and get stuck in a throat then i would probably panic and wreck trying to get to my suffocating child. however, my son was so dang excited about that blue balloon that he literally did a balloon dance. so we waited and took that darn balloon with us.

me: how about we let that balloon go out here before we get in the car?! we can watch it fly!
asher: noooooooooo!
me: ok, but i need you to be very careful with it.

thanks a lot, NGIGSL. now i'm probably gonna wreck because my son is going to suffocate on his dang blue balloon. as i'm driving and trying not to glance in the rearview mirror every 5 seconds to keep an eye on the potentially suffocating perpetrator, asher is thoroughly enjoying his time with it.

asher: oh, bawoon. i jus so much wove you!
*he hugs his balloon.
asher: der! a kiss!
*he kisses his balloon
me: you love that balloon, asher?
asher: yes! i wove my bwue bawoon!
*he kisses it again
me: wow, that's a lot of balloon love, but don't put your mouth on it, please.
asher: ok, mom.
me: you have to be gentle with it or it may pop.
asher: yes, we have to be gentle.
me: yep. when we get home you can let it go and watch it fly away! won't that be fun?!
asher: yeah! ok!
*he squeezes the balloon a little too lovingly and POP!
me: ut oh! it popped!
*i literally pull over on the side of the road, grab all the poppings, then piece them together to make sure they're all accounted for. thankfully, there were only 2 pieces.
asher: awwww, but i jus wanna watch my bwue bawoon fwy away!!!!
me: i'm sorry, bud. it's gone now.
asher: awwww...
*he pouts for a few minutes
asher: mom?
me: yes, bud?
asher: i can have a pink bawoon now?!

no, sir. you cannot.