crustache

bryan: yeah, i don't know what made me think flowing hair, big, round glasses, and a crustache was an attractive look in middle school...
me: haha! me either! thinking about crustaches makes me cringe a little. i was ugly and gangly in middle school too though.
bryan: wifey, you know that our boys are going to have crustaches when they hit puberty.
me: noooooooooooooo! can't you counsel them into shaving those nasty things?!
bryan: it's their first sign of manhood and masculinity. you just need to let them be proud of it.
me: ewwwww. i've never met a girl that wasn't grossed out by the crustache look. it does not look manly.
bryan: wifey, you can't tell them that when they have them.
me: ok, well i won't tell them anything, but YOU need to tell them to shave it off until they can grow some serious manly facial hair.
bryan: i'll tell them it will grow back thicker if they keep it shaved. you know though, these are my progeny we're talking about here. they'll probably be blessed with full beards by middle school...

i apologize if you are reading this and are a past or present crustache rocker. i just can't handle my teenage boys being crustacheous. after thinking on how disturbing the thought of my sweet boys growing a tiny little crustache creature on their lips is, i had an idea!

me: bry! i just decided something!
bryan: ok...what?
me: we need to encourage our boys to keep their crustaches! that way, girls will leave them alone until they can grow real facial hair. hopefully, by then they'll be in college and won't have to deal with silly high school girl heart break!
bryan: hmm...i think you just won yourself the award for worst parenting idea ever, wifey.

the one thing i find more disturbing than crustacheous sons is girl-crazy, heartbroken sons.

suddenly, the crustache seems like a beautiful thing.