Monday, May 30, 2011


bryan: hey nate! whatcha doing, bud?
asher: no, daddy! he not bud! he baby. i bud!!
bryan: i can't call him bud too?
asher: nope. i bud. he baby.
bryan: guess i'll have to come up with a different name for nate.

asher's been our bud since he was born. apparently, he is our only bud.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


asher: daddy got fwogs in da butt!


be patient

one of asher's favorite books right now is Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. the alphabet is printed at the end so we always take some time to name the letters once we finish reading.
me: can you find the letter T?
asher: der's T!
me: good job! want me to sing the ABC's now? "A, B, C, D..."
*asher puts his hand over my mouth.
asher: no, mama. shhh! be patient, mama. no sing dat ABC's. jus be patient.
me: be patient?
asher: yes, no singing. be patient.

along with learning our letters, we've also been trying to teach asher to be patient. i think he's kind of starting to get the idea...

conversations with tia

pap and memaw have a sweet, old chesapeake bay retriever. she likes to sleep a lot which is hard to accomplish with a crazy stinker toddler running around the house.

asher: wook at dis ball, mama!!
me: ew, yeah. that's tia's ball. it's all yucky and slobbery. can you put it down, please?
asher: oh, yeah. you're wight. it's tia's ball.
*he runs to find tia who is sleeping on the floor. he tucks her ball between her face and paw.
asher: here you go, tia.
*he runs back to me
asher: mama! i just give tia her ball!
me: oh, ok. good job, bud!
*he then proceeds to collect every tia toy he can find to tuck around the poor, sleeping dog until she has a small mountain of playthings surrounding her.
asher: wook, mama!
me: yep. i bet tia really appreciates you.
it didn't take asher long to understand that tia goes outside to potty. once he realized this, he volunteered to be her chaperone so that he could go outside too.
asher: tia! you needa go potty outside?
me: no, bud. she just came inside. she wants to stay in for a while.
asher: but she needa go potty outside. i go outside with her.
me: no, asher. don't open that door. we're not going outside.
asher: but tia needa go potty!
as tia is sleeping on the floor, asher lays down on his belly, nose to nose with her, and says in an unnecessarily loud voice considering the hair's width proximity,
me: yeah, she's old, bud. she needs to sleep a lot. you need to let her rest.
asher: yeah. TIA! ARE YOU WESTING??
*tia opens one eye slowly and gives asher a look that says,
tia: i'm trying to rest. can you keep your annoying little human barking down?! who let this kid in my house, anyway?

poor tia. i bet she's so happy to have her nice, quiet house back.


asher & bryan are wrestling around together when bry pauses and says,

bryan: shhh! asher! listen. you hear that?
*bryan poots
asher: yep, i hear dat. dat's a fwog.
bryan: a frog?
asher: yeah, you hear dat fwog?
me: i heard that poot!! daddy's got poots!
asher: no, he got fwogs.

i'm pretty sure asher learned this from his papa. papa lets asher listen for frogs quite often when he's around.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

kitty bum

*asher is running around papa and gangee's yard like a maniac. he's climbing the ladder on the jungle gym, going down the slide, and then running around in circles just to do it all over again. non-stop. until in mid-run he notices the cat sitting in the yard. he back pedals to her and squats down to give her a pet. he stares at her for a minute then points at her tail and says,

asher: der's da butt under der.
me: yes, there is a butt under there.
asher: *smiles proudly and continues running around the yard.

oh, the age of discovery...

ummm, yes...well...

asher: baby nate eat da booooob!
me: umm, yeah...well, he's nursing, asher.
asher: yep. he nursing...
me: yes.
asher:...but dat's da boob.

i tell ya...that kid...what is a mother to do with him?

besides laugh, i mean.

mrs. fix-it

*asher is playing with his toy hammer

me: asher! we don't hit people with the hammer.
asher: oops. sorwy.
me: hammer's are for fixing things, not for hurting.
asher: nope...mommies are for fixing things.
me: mommies are?
asher: yep. she fix asher.

maybe because i say things like, "asher, come here and let me fix your shirt."

or shoes or diaper or hair or whatever else generally needs some fixin'.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

cookie {dough} monster

bry: elise! why did you only bake 3 of these cookies?
me: *i look at him out of the corner of my eye and grin
bry: or did you just eat 3 of these cookie dough squares?
me: *i raise my eyebrows and give him my most why-would-you-even-suggest-a-thing-like-that face
bry: you did. you just ate the cookie dough. i can't believe you.
me: i was going to try to figure out a way to hide it because i knew you were going to fuss at me.
bry: wifey, seriously? you're going to get salmonella and we're going to be paying out the butt in hospital bills and we're not going to be able to live because you won't stop eating cookie dough.
* he pauses and shakes his head
bry: it only takes a few minutes to bake them. why didn't you just stick them in the oven?
me: because they're not as delicious that way.
bry: yeah, but...
me: it's an addiction!!!!

later i decided to just bake the cookies so as to not be tempted by their gooey,scrumptious,doughy form. bryan comes in as i'm putting them in the oven.

bry: what are you doing?
me: i'm baking those cookies so i won't eat anymore dough.
bry: just be honest with me. did you eat another while you were fixing them?
me: maybe...but only because they didn't all fit on the tray! i didn't want to have to bake one cookie all by itself.
bry: you're ridiculous.

it is an addiction when you have a compulsory need to partake in something that's not good for you and then you consider hiding it from your disapproving husb and you make excuses to continue partaking, right?

maybe i should join CDEA...cookie dough eating they have those?

maybe i should start CDEA. who's with me?


CDEAers unite! salmonella free, baby:

the breakfast of...well,probably not champions

since today is our sweet 4 yr marital anniversary, i convinced my sweet husb of four years that we needed krispy kreme doughnuts to celebrate such an occasion. here's how it went down with asher-

bry: asher, do you want a doughnut??
asher: no, daddy! i can't want a nonut.

these days, negation is asher's initial reaction to everything. he says no before he even has time to think through what you've said. it only took him a second to remember what doughnuts were.

asher: oh, nonuts! yes, daddy! chuuuure! i can eat a nonut!
*he runs off to the kitchen, sees the box on the counter, puts his face as close to the box as possible and says in a deep, trance-like voice
asher: noooooonnuuuuuutttttsss...

does it totally make me a 6th grade boy if i giggle because my son says nonuts instead of doughnuts?