Tuesday, September 24, 2013

sad eyes

me: ok, nater, let's clip your nails.
nate: *wailing* nooooooo! pwease, mom! noooo! pwease, don't cwip deeeem!
me: nate, you've got raptor claws. it has to be done.
nate: but wook at my face, mom.
me: ok...
nate: can you see my sad eyes?
me: yes.
nate: i have sad eyes because you're trying to cwip my nails.
me: oh, boy.

his sad eyes were even more piercing than his raptor claws. sigh.

Thursday, September 19, 2013


me: hey, can i hold your hand, bud?
asher: sure! you can hold my hand anytime you want, darling.
me: oh, wow. thank you, asher.
asher: you're laughing because i said darling?
me: i'm laughing because you're so cute.
asher: well, i'll let you hold my hand because that means i love you.
me: you're so good to me.

we have some moments that i'd rather not dwell on, so they don't get blogged. however, it's sweet moments like these with my boy that i want to remember for always.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013


nate: hey, mom!
me: yeah, nater?
nate: wook at dis!
*he holds up his finger
me: whatcha got?
nate: i caught a burger on my finger!
me: oh, nice. a booger.

he calls them burgers. gross.


asher: mom, what's on your legs?
me: those are called tights, bud.
asher: is it paint?
me: nope. they're a piece of clothing.
asher: if i touch it will it get on me?
me: no, babe. it's not paint. you can touch them.
asher: wow, they're soft.
me: yep. they help keep my legs warm.
asher: so they're like pants?
me: kind of. except i have to wear a skirt or dress over them.
asher: *cups his hand and whispers* so people can't see your privates.
me: exactly.
asher: well, i think the other ladies at church are going to like those tights.
me: thanks, asher.

sweet boy. takes after his daddy.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


me: nate, do you want some peanuts?
nate: yeah!
asher: not me! i don't like them.
me: that's ok. you don't have to eat them.
asher: my teacher at the bell church asked me if it was okay for me to eat peanuts and i told her it wasn't, but it's really ok for me eat them. i told her it wasn't because i don't like them.
me: so you told her you weren't allowed to have them?
asher: yeah. i just decided to trick her and tell her i was allergic.
me: woah, bud. you shouldn't pretend to be allergic to something when you're not. it's ok just to say, "no, thank you. i don't like them." did you know that sometimes cookies and candy have peanuts in them? if they think you're allergic and will get sick then they won't let you eat that either.
asher: yeah, i know. i was just tricking.
me: well, you were lying to your teacher, bud. who was it?
asher: uhh, it was jackson's mom.
me: ok, babe. next time you see ms. ashley you need to apologize and tell her the truth, please.
asher: oh, alright. i'll tell her i can eat peanuts, i just don't want to.

shewf. good thing that stinker said his prayers last night.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


nate: mom, i will lay here is da grwass. you get up and go shoot dos balls in da goalf.
me: why do i have to get up? i can't lay here with you?
nate: mom, i told you to go shoot dos balls in the goalf.
me: geez...
nate: *he looks at me, raises his eyebrows, removes one hand from behind his head and points to the goal, i mean goalf, from his comfortably reclined position in the grass.

that boy means business. basketball shooting business.


asher: dear God, thank You for the Lord that you sent us, but i got something to ask ya. can You just make us obedient and help not to do bad things even if we think they're fun? just help to obey and do what's right. amen.

family devotion time is a fun way to end our days.

Saturday, September 7, 2013


bryan: ok, so do you need jumbo sticks or regular sticks or jumbo colored sticks? there's a whole wall of craft sticks here.
me: um, i think just the plain jumbo. i don't need fancy colors.
bryan: just so you know, i'm really out of my element here at michael's, but they have this huge halloween display that i'm loving. there's a carousel with ghosts and junk.
me: oh...cool...

my husb loves weird halloween decorations. the creepier and tackier, the better. thankfully, he's not in charge of decorating or we would have fake spider webs and skeletons and, apparently, ghost carousels.

nater joke

nate: hey! why did the bird get da paper?
me: um, why?
nate: because da bird got da paper!
*ridiculous, over exaggerated laughter
me: wow. what a jokester. good one, nate!

clever, that one.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013


bryan: did you hear what asher was saying this morning?
me: huh?
bryan: he came and got in the bed at about 6 this morning and he was telling me to turn around because the spiders were behind me.
me: ohhh, yeah. i did hear him saying that.
asher: i was dreaming, guys. i was just dreaming.
me: about spiders?
asher: well, i was dreaming that me and jackson and julian were playing here and these big ol' bunglebees were chasing us so we ran and hid under your bed. then, my leg was still sticking out and i didn't know it, but the bunglebees saw it and they found us. so we ran out into the living room and there was a kid guard standing there to protect us. it was a kid guard, mom, not an adult one.
me: ok.
asher: so we were standing in here with the kid guard and then there were these big spiders crawling all over the window outside and they were trying to get in. that's when i was telling daddy to turn around and look because those spiders were about to be crawling on his back. and then i woke up and the dream was done.
me: wow. was that scary dreaming about big spiders and bees trying to get you?
asher: no, mom. it was just a dream about big bugs.

how is a dream about getting chased by huge bugs not scary? maybe it was the guard. that kid must have been really doing his job. also, i LOVE that he still says bungle bee. here's hoping we make it to 16. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

dearest husb

dearest husb,

since i'm sure you're wondering how our first day of preschool at home went, i thought i would put an end to your suspenseful suffering and provide you with an update.

as you know, our day was supposed to start with a treasure hunt for school supplies (thanks for helping me hide those), however the hunt was postponed on account of nate pooping his pants. i don't blame him though since i did tell him to stay in the box castle with asher until i called for them. he followed those directions of staying put excellently. when we realized he was making his own treasure in his pants, he was rushed to the potty to finish up his business. asher was very disgruntled, after being holed up in the stinky castle with his brother, to find that he was going to have to wait for nate to finish on the potty before he could start searching for supplies.
asher: uhhhhh! why is he taking so long to poop?
me: asher, you can't rush pooping, bud. he's just gotta take his time and get it all out.
asher: i know, but he's taking foreeeeevvveeer!
me: well, babe. try to be patient.
asher: why do i have to wait on him?
me: because you're going to be a treasure hunting team! it'll be more fun together!
nate: cuz i'm pooping, ashwer!!!
asher: ugh. i know, nate. i know. just hurry up.
after we wrapped up potty time, the treasure hunt commenced! the boys had so much fun finding the glue, pencils, scissors, and crayons and putting them in our homemade treasure box.

then, we started our school lessons learning about how God's word is a treasure. we introduced the letter X by taping a big letter on the floor with painter's tape. then we jumped, skipped, walked, and tiptoed across practicing the letter X sound while we went. we did lots of other activities with the letter X, but there is one i felt the need to warn you about. i thought bringing out trays of salt to practice writing the letter X sounded like a really fun idea. you know, it's sensory writing practice. it was going really well until our sons' mighty imaginations turned the salt into snow... and then they needed tractors to move the snow... and then the tractors couldn't possibly leave the snow in one place because they were there to do some work...and the work involved pushing the snow into the floor so the boys could make snow angels. it may have gotten a little salty up in here. and i may have thought that was okay because i could just sweep it up. however, it turns out that it may be pretty difficult to sweep and/or vacuum up salt. who knew, right? so try not to grumble while you are stepping on tiny grains of salt that have been scattered all over our house and will remain there until the end of time. just think about how much fun your boys had practicing their letter writing...and their snow plowing. OR just keep your socks on so it's not as noticeable.

and while i'm already on a roll with the confessing of supervised messes that occurred today, there's something else you should probably know. as i was trying to sweep/ vacuum/ scoop up by hand all of the salt, i sent the boys to play in the backyard. good, innocent, energy emptying time outside. yeah, except remember the other day when i kind of taught them how to turn on the outside faucet so that they could fill up those plastic cups and throw water on each other? yeah, that right there bit me in the butt today.
asher: mom!!
me: yeah, bud?
asher: nate looks like a brown batman!
me: huh? ok! i'll be there in a minute. let me finish sweeping.
asher: ok! it's cool! he's just got mud all over his face!
me: WHAT?!
apparently, if you let that outside faucet run it makes an awesomely filthy mud puddle in which our children felt the need to roll in. and lay down in. and throw mud from. and paint the side of the house with such mud. and then run screaming with their swamp thang selves when it was time to get rinsed off and hauled to the tub. no, i mean i literally had to catch nate with a towel and haul him to the the tub. it's a miracle that there isn't mud splattered all throughout our house. or maybe there is and i just choose to be blind because i have cleaned up enough mud to meet my mud cleaning quota for the whole year in one day. this one, very first, filthy day of preschool at home.

so here are the two things i learned from school today:
1.) homeschooling boys is clearly going to be an adventure. a messy, stock-up-on-the-cleaning-supplies-now, not-quite-what-i-planned adventure.
2.) i need an iphone to document such adventures. get on that, husb.

your happy to stay at home and clean up life's messes wifey