Wednesday, October 31, 2012

squatch

asher: mom? if we hear or see a sasquatch then we have to call this expert team on this show.
me: yeah, that's a good idea, bud.
asher: and when i grow up then everyone in this house can be an expert team and we can find sasquatches.
me: ok. that sounds fun.
asher: yeah. me and you and dad and nater and papa and gangee and owen and marcus and amber can all be the expert team.
me: alright.
asher: but, mom?
me: yeah, bud?
asher: i will just ride in your backpack. that will protect me from the sasquatches...cause i'm a little scared of them.

ever since asher saw a commercial for the tv show "finding bigfoot," he's been a little obsessed. he watched part of an episode for the first time tonight. we're thinking he may be destined for a career in cryptozoology.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

wormies

nate: mom! dis rock! find a wormie.
me: ok. let's lift it up and see.
nate: oh! no wormies!
me: nope, not under that one.
nate: now, dis rock.
me: alright.
nate: oh! der's a wormie! i get it, mom!

the boys and i do regular bug hunts when we're outside. nate's favorite is to flip up every single rock he can find to check for earth worms. then he usually pulls them apart or squitches them a little too hard. poor wormies.

pop

me: asher, what are you doing out of bed, bud?
asher: um, mom? i was in my bed and then i just heard this popping sound.
bryan: a popping sound? from where?
asher: oh! *he poots* there it goes again! you hear that popping sound coming from my booty?

oh, that boy.

coffee

nate: it's a manna.
me: yep. you've got a banana.
nate: and it's cereal.
me: and cereal.
nate: and chocate milk!
me: yep.
nate: mama's milk.
me: no, i've got coffee.
nate: *wrinkling up his nose* coffee stink.

i demand to know who is teaching my baby such lies. stinky, stinky lies.

Monday, October 22, 2012

wrestle


video
asher's tactic: kick, hit, karate chop with as much force and strength as he can muster. he goes for the kill.

nate's tactic: baby battle cry followed by flopping and bouncing.

both ways are pretty effective in keeping dad down for the count.

Monday, October 8, 2012

facebook

me: husb! it's so exciting that you're on facebook again! it's like we're getting married all over again! ADD ME AS YOUR WIFEY! why haven't you done that yet?!
bryan: wifey, i did. you just haven't signed in yet to accept my request.
me: oh...ok. good job. husb! it's like a whole new level of connectedness! WE CAN FACEBOOK FLIRT!
bryan: yeah...how do i change my info stuff? oh, nevermind.
me: you got it?
bryan: yeah, but how do i search for new people to add?
me: *giggling
bryan: what are you laughing at?
me: i find your ineptitude on facebook amusing.
bryan: shut it.
me: *stroking his bearded man face* don't worry. i will teach you everything you need to know, husb.
bryan: shut. it.

the husb got back on the Facebooks. my excitement could not be contained.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

slobber

me: oh, you've got something on your face.
*i lick my finger and wipe the grim off his chubby cheek
asher: ok.
*he licks his finger and wipes it on my cheek
me: why did you do that?
asher: because you did it.
me: why do you think i did it?
asher: because you like to wipe your slobber on people.

precisely, son.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

help

hey y'all. i have an important question. i believe i have asked it before, but i'm for real this time. how many of you would be interested in buying one of the adoption prints that i posted yesterday?? or, if you'd rather, you can order a birth stats print.

If you are interested here's a couple of questions:
1) would you rather have a PDF through e-mail or an actual print through regular type mail?
2) would you pay $10-$12?
3) would it help if i told you all the money goes to Brandon & Leah's adoption fund?
4) would you like to see some samples? go here and here. oh, and here.

answer my questions. share this with all 8,423 of your facebook friends.

it costs a lot of money to bring home a sweet adopted child, ya know.

Friday, October 5, 2012

adoption

bry and i have some sweet friends whom we love dearly who just started the adoption process. we cannot wait to meet their child.

in honor of Brandon and Leah's adoption, i created these:

(girl)

(boy)
(neutral)

i'm working on some with these scriptures as well:
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."John 14:18
"Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute." Psalm 82:3
"Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow."Isaiah 1:17

God is clearly on board with adoption. are you?

Thursday, October 4, 2012

worms

this conversation happened while papa was digging up some dirt to make a more level place for stepping stones...
me: ohhh, asher! look at all those worms under this stepping stone!
asher: oh, yeah! can i touch them?
me: sure. you can pick them up. just be careful not to pull too hard or they'll come apart.
asher: ok! i will put them in this bucket with the dirt. that will be a fine home for them.
me: great idea. there's another one! get him!
asher: ok!
*he's grabs it. peering down into the bucket he says,
asher: wow, look at all those little wormies. mom?
me: yeah, bud?
asher: it's kind of like a pet store. a worm pet store. all these wormies are my pets.
me: ok.
asher: what's papa gonna do with all this dirt in the bucket?
me: i think he's going to take it and dump at the end of the yard.
asher: what about the worms?
me: well, they'll just get relocated with the dirt. they'll be fine.
*we follow papa to the where he dumps the dirt and asher's new pets.
asher: yep. this is gonna make a fine home for these worms.
me: i think so too.
asher: NATER DON'T STEP ON THE WORMIES!
me: c'mon, nate. don't squish them, bud.
asher: mom? how about you chase nater and i will stay here to protect the wormies? i will get them some leaves because i know worms love to eat leaves and i will watch over them.

i cannot express to you how much i felt like i was talking to my childhood self during this conversation.  i once captured an ant from my grandma's yard and took him in the car with me because i thought he would make a lovely pet. i lost him in the car on the way home. asher is a child after his mama's critter lovin' heart. bless him. somebody get that boy a puppy.

nater, meanwhile, was pulling worms to bits and throwing them over his shoulder. bless him, too.

shrek

me: watcha doing, asher?
asher: watching shrek.
gangee: tell her what it's about. a green...
asher: a green yogurt.
me: ohhh, yeah. he is an ogre.
asher: yeah, he's a green yogurt!

i made him tell me what shrek was about approximately 27 more times that evening.

p.s. the boys call my mom "gangee." pronounced like "gangrene" without the r. she swears that asher called her that when he was about 4 months old. and now she will forever be called such.

hamper

bry: wifey! you know what i find the most behind and around this clothes hamper?
me: what?
bry: asher's socks and your panties.
me: hmmm, all the best things, i see.
bry: you're ridiculous. aim better.

i read a quote once about how marriage is great because you find that one special person you get to annoy for the rest of your life. let me tell you, that is so true.

and so much fun.

eye shrinkage

me: woah, his eyes look smaller...
bryan: *gives me a silent, incredulous stare as crickets chirp somewhere in the background
me: i mean, between the two pictures. his eyes look smaller, right?
bryan: elise...
me: what?
bryan: i think his face just got fatter.
me: oh.
bryan: did you really just look at those two pictures and think "hmmm, he must be suffering from eye shrinkage" instead of, "he must have put on some weight over the years?"
me: husb, you can't tell me his eyes don't look smaller.
bryan: really? you really think eye shrinkage is the most logical conclusion.

the first set here of dear westley are the pictures in question. after reviewing them again, i'm sticking by my professional and most logical diagnosis of eye shrinkage. definitely eye shrinkage.