Wednesday, November 21, 2012

baby animals part2

me: you could've spent some birthday money on a tortoise.
bryan: nothing ever at all anywhere could make me want to spend birthday money on a turtle.
me: tortoise. or you know what else i found?
bryan: no.
me: there's this breed of rabbit that is, like, as big as asher. about 40 pounds or so, i think.
bryan: why would you think an asher-sized rabbit would be a good idea? do you know how many pellets normal sized rabbits produce? can you imagine the ones from one the size of our son?
me: they're really cute though.
bryan: nope.
me: alright, i'm going to bed...because you hates me and giant rabbits and tortoises.
bryan: wifey, where would you even get a tortoise-size saddle?
me: well, i'm pretty crafty, husb. i think i could make one. DIY that junk.
bryan: DIY tortoise saddle. you'd be a pinterest sensation.
me: you know that's right.

i love my husb so much. he puts up with all of my ridiculousness and still humors me. he's stronger than a tortoise and cuter than a 40 lb rabbit. and that's saying a lot.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

tiny baby animals

after seeing these wonderful pictures, this conversation took place:

me: i can't wait for Jesus to come back so that i can play with all kinds of baby animals and not get eaten alive.
bryan: hm.
me: then i could ride a tortoise.
bryan: um, i don't think they're going to get bigger...
me: i could have a tortoise now if you would let me.
bryan: no. we are not discussing this.
me: we could keep him in the backyard.
bryan: don't you need like a terrarium or something? when they're small?
me: or you know what? maybe we could get a green house and grow our own oranges and bananas and keep our tortoise in there.
bryan: no. i hate this idea.
me: we can call him torty.
bryan: did you just say torty?
me: or torticus?
bryan: hmm, torticus is growing on me.

have i mentioned that bry hates baby animals? because he does.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

bad dreams

asher: dad? can i sleep with you guys?
bryan: no, bud. you need to go back to your bed.
asher: but i keep having bad dreams in my bed.
bryan: ok. come here and talk to us for a minute.
*asher climbs in our bed
bryan: what were you dreaming about?
asher: i dreamed that a cow stole my pants and i was mad because i had to stand in my underwear.
me: what did the cow look like?
asher: umm...he was black...
me: black and white spotted?
asher: yes. with a pink nose.
me: what did he do with your pants?
asher: he just ripped them off with his mouth and ran away.
me: and left you in your underwear?
asher: yes.
me: that must have been a sneaky cow.
asher: yep. a sneaky cow that stole my pants.

this morning he told me that he also had a dream that his papa was a grumpy hotdog that was yelling at him. bad dreams, indeed.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


me: nate? whatcha got my keys for?
nate: i got keys, mom!
me: are you going to vote this morning?
nate: yeah, i vote, mom.
me: well, who are you voting for?
bryan: romney or obama?
nate: umm, romney?
bryan: what about you, asher? romney or obama?
asher: ummm, poopoo! hahahaha!
bryan: hmmm, good point. we may be getting poop either way the vote goes.

happy election day, everybody.

Thursday, November 1, 2012


* i notice asher stealthily sneaking up the hill to our neighbor's yard.
me: hey! what are you doing up there?
*he jerks around and holds his finger to his mouth
asher: SHHHH!
me: what are you doing, asher?
*he does some martial arts moves and then keeps sneaking. nate and i ever so unquietly walk up to asher.
me: ok. what's going on?
*he points down the road
asher: the man in the blue shirt.
* i look down the road and see a man walking.
me: what about him?
asher: i need to follow him.
me: no, you don't.
asher: mom! he's just walking down the road! he might be doing something bad!
me: maybe, but it looks like he's just walking.
asher: i need to go check because i'm a ninja.
*he does some more martial artsy moves
me: asher, we're not following a random man down the road so that you can perform ninja karate moves on him.
asher: awwwww, mom!

along with chasing bigfoot, asher also likes to dabble in ninja-ing. watch out, all you squatches and random unsuspecting neighbors. asher's itching to use his moves.


me: whatcha doin', nate?
nate: huh?
me: just being cute?
nate: yeah, mom. i just being cute.

true dat, son. true dat.