Saturday, December 22, 2012

tis the season

asher: *singing to the tune of jingle bells* christmas tree, christmas tree, christmas, christmas tree! oh, what fun it is to poot on a pooting christmas tree! hey!

tis the season to poot on pooting christmas trees, y'all.

trains

asher: moooom! they're all coupled up!
me: what's all coupled up?
asher: my pizza! see?
*he holds up two bits of pizza that are stuck together
me: oh, yes, there are.
asher: i told you they were coupled up.

around these parts, we watch a lot of train shows. any time objects are connected in any way asher announces how they're coupled up like train cars.

nate is cute

nate: oh my! oh my, mommy!
me: did you fall down?
nate: yes, i fall down.
me: are you ok?
nate: yes, i ok, mommy.

oh my, when he says this (and he uses it A LOT these days) i have to control the urge to squitch his sweet little self until his eyes bug out.

nate: i wanna watch trains, mommy.
me: not right now, bud.
nate: buuuuuuut mooooooommmmmmyyyyy!
me: why don't we play trains?
nate: but mommy.
me: we can't watch them right now.
*he looks away. after a few seconds of ignoring me, he takes off to the bedroom.
me: where are you going?
nate: *he yells down the hall* i gonna watch trains, mommy!
me: not right now, tot!
nate: but mooooommmmmy!

i'm not sure how he learned to use this tactic since i don't think asher says it, but i have to resist the urge to kiss his chubby cheeks and give him everything his little toddler heart desires when he deploys it. it's such a well-formed, heart- wrenching argument.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

gravity

asher: mom? if the earth is a round circle, then how do we stay up straight on it?
me: uhhhh, well, when God made the earth he made a natural force called gravity to go along with it. the law of gravity says that whatever goes up must come down. does a ball stay floating in the air when you throw it up?
asher: nope.
me: that's because gravity makes it come back down. it holds us to the earth.
asher: sooo, you mean that God made gravity, which is like a big vacuum in the earth that sucks us down.
me: yeah, kind of like that.

we were just riding along in the car and out of nowhere he asks the above question. i have no idea how to explain the law of gravity to a 4 year old. heck, i don't even really understand it myself!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

asher's prayers

me: are you ready to say your prayers, asher?
asher: yep. *he squeezes his eyes closed* God, thank you for everything we do. thank you for my family and that i get to be with them. thank you that nate got to get a birthday present today. i love you. Christ. amen.

every night, after we read and talk about a Bible story, we ask asher to pray first before we say prayers with him. almost all of his prayers consist of those same first couple of sentences (which melts my mama heart), but when he thanked God that nate got to get a present, i almost lost it. i think i squeezed bryan's hand so hard that he lost circulation in two of his fingers until asher said amen.

you see, we took the boys to the store yesterday and let nate pick out a birthday present. he picked out a thomas the train set. when we got home, there was a lot of bickering and screeching from both boys over who got to play. we tried to explain to asher that it was nate's brand new birthday toy and he was reluctant to share just yet. we also tried to curb nate's selfish heart by encouraging taking turns. anyway,  it got so ugly up in here that we decided to abandon the new toy. instead, we grabbed some christmas cookies and chocolate milk, piled up in the parental bed, and watched a thomas christmas special on netflix. it was a much needed respite for the whole family.

when it came time for bible reading and prayers, i had all but forgotten about the confusion and delay (a reference for all you other parents who are thomas watchers) that the toy had caused. SO, when asher thanked God that his brother got to pick out a new toy, i was totally taken by surprise and probably would have cried if i hadn't been releasing my emotion by breaking bryan's fingers in my shocked-by-our-son's-thoughtfulness-but-resisting-the-tears vice grip.

p.s. when bryan or i finished praying we usually say, "in Christ's name we pray, amen." I've noticed that asher has started tagging "Christ" or "Christ's name" onto the end of his prayers now. sweet to know he's listening when we pray.

thomas the train

asher: *singing to himself while playing trains* accidents happen now and again. sometimes just by janis.
me: *to bryan* did you hear that?
bryan: what?
me: it's supposed to be "sometimes just by chance," but he sings "janis" every time.
bryan: wifey. stop laughing. janis is pretty accident prone.

i laugh every. single. time. ohhhh, janis.

Friday, December 7, 2012

sacrosanct santa

sac·ro·sanct

[sak-roh-sangkt]  Show IPA
adjective
1.
extremely sacred or inviolable: a sacrosanct chamber in the temple.
2.
not to be entered or trespassed upon: She considered her home office sacrosanct.
3.
above or beyond criticism, change, or interference: a manuscript deemed sacrosanct.

let's be honest, in america, santa has become sacrosanct. even in Christian circles. when bry and i told people we weren't teaching our kids that santa was real, it was met with much scoffing and guffawing. i understand the sentiment. it's fun to believe in something that is mysterious and magical and simply unexplainable. however, bryan and i feel like there are some major hangups with santaology that we do not wish to impart to our children.

1.) It's a lie.
we believe that good parenting calls for honesty and integrity to the best of our ability in every situation.  if our kids ask if santa is real, we tell them the truth. just like we would tell them the truth if they asked if mickey mouse or thomas the train were real. santa is a fun fictional character. we can enjoy movies about him and read stories about him and even talk about the real st. nick whom the fictional character is based on. but will a jolly, large man dressed in red find a way into our house on christmas eve and leave presents that tiny elves made in the north pole? nope. those presents were thoughtfully bought and wrapped and given because your family loves you and cares for you. isn't that important too?

2.) Naughty or Nice.
to try and modify my child's behavior by reminding him that a magical man (or elf on a shelf) is creepily watching even while he's sleeping is weird. we try to do good things and be nice and love one another well because Jesus first loved us and has given us example and instruction to do so. as we're trying to teach our kids that they should love others as they love themselves, we don't want the motivation to be so that they can selfishly get more presents if they're extra nice. also, how do we explain it when children who come from low income families don't get awesome presents? is it because santa caught them being naughty? or is it because their parents or parent are trying to keep food on the table and don't have the luxury of spending tons of money on gifts?

3.) The Present Thing.
christmas has become a consumeristic holiday race where the person who gets (or the parent who gives) the biggest, best, newest, and most is the winner. as parents who believe in Christ as their Lord and Savior, we really want to teach our kids that Christmas is about celebrating, remembering, and focusing on God's greatest gift to a dying, broken world: the incarnation of His Son, Jesus. we've decided to do 3 gifts for each child to parallel the gifts for Christ from the wise men (yes, i realize that the wise men technically did not arrive until tiny little baby Jesus was about 2 years old, but they are still part of the Christmas story, people!) we will strive, with the presents that we do give, to make sure they are organic/fair trade/sustainably produced simply because we don't want others to suffer at the expense of our gift giving. we have also decided to let our kids pick out 3 gifts from the compassion international gift catalog. we will narrow down the choices so that they are affordable for our family, but we want our children to get in the habit of giving where it counts. i'm hoping this new years to start a compassion jar that we can fill up all year. then next december, we can count out how much we've saved and pick out a life changing gift with our change. we'll see how that goes. the bottom line: we want our kids to know that the gifts they get and give are meaningful and making a difference, not made by elves in a shop in the north pole.

i'm not trying to hate on the families who are hardcore pretenders when it comes to santa. i'm just trying to explain why our family doesn't think it's worth it. we still have fun taking our kids to see christmas lights, wrapping presents for others, making christmas crafts and ornaments, doing random acts of christmas kindness for strangers, spending time together, etc., etc., etc.

like i said, it's fun to believe in something that is mysterious, and magical, and simply unexplainable.

the virgin birth of Christ,
      the word made flesh come to rescue the world,
           the Hope long awaited for,
                the Promised One,
                    God graciously reconciling His people back to himself

THAT is a unexplainable mystery worth celebrating, a gift deserving of thanksgiving, and most importantly it is TRUTH.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

baby animals part2

me: you could've spent some birthday money on a tortoise.
bryan: nothing ever at all anywhere could make me want to spend birthday money on a turtle.
me: tortoise. or you know what else i found?
bryan: no.
me: there's this breed of rabbit that is, like, as big as asher. about 40 pounds or so, i think.
bryan: why would you think an asher-sized rabbit would be a good idea? do you know how many pellets normal sized rabbits produce? can you imagine the ones from one the size of our son?
me: they're really cute though.
bryan: nope.
me: alright, i'm going to bed...because you hates me and giant rabbits and tortoises.
bryan: wifey, where would you even get a tortoise-size saddle?
me: well, i'm pretty crafty, husb. i think i could make one. DIY that junk.
bryan: DIY tortoise saddle. you'd be a pinterest sensation.
me: you know that's right.

i love my husb so much. he puts up with all of my ridiculousness and still humors me. he's stronger than a tortoise and cuter than a 40 lb rabbit. and that's saying a lot.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

tiny baby animals

after seeing these wonderful pictures, this conversation took place:

me: i can't wait for Jesus to come back so that i can play with all kinds of baby animals and not get eaten alive.
bryan: hm.
me: then i could ride a tortoise.
bryan: um, i don't think they're going to get bigger...
me: i could have a tortoise now if you would let me.
bryan: no. we are not discussing this.
me: we could keep him in the backyard.
bryan: don't you need like a terrarium or something? when they're small?
me: or you know what? maybe we could get a green house and grow our own oranges and bananas and keep our tortoise in there.
bryan: no. i hate this idea.
me: we can call him torty.
bryan: did you just say torty?
me: or torticus?
*pause
bryan: hmm, torticus is growing on me.

have i mentioned that bry hates baby animals? because he does.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

bad dreams

asher: dad? can i sleep with you guys?
bryan: no, bud. you need to go back to your bed.
asher: but i keep having bad dreams in my bed.
bryan: ok. come here and talk to us for a minute.
*asher climbs in our bed
bryan: what were you dreaming about?
asher: i dreamed that a cow stole my pants and i was mad because i had to stand in my underwear.
me: what did the cow look like?
asher: umm...he was black...
me: black and white spotted?
asher: yes. with a pink nose.
me: what did he do with your pants?
asher: he just ripped them off with his mouth and ran away.
me: and left you in your underwear?
asher: yes.
me: that must have been a sneaky cow.
asher: yep. a sneaky cow that stole my pants.

this morning he told me that he also had a dream that his papa was a grumpy hotdog that was yelling at him. bad dreams, indeed.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

vote

me: nate? whatcha got my keys for?
nate: i got keys, mom!
me: are you going to vote this morning?
nate: yeah, i vote, mom.
me: well, who are you voting for?
bryan: romney or obama?
nate: umm, romney?
bryan: what about you, asher? romney or obama?
asher: ummm, poopoo! hahahaha!
bryan: hmmm, good point. we may be getting poop either way the vote goes.

happy election day, everybody.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

ninja

* i notice asher stealthily sneaking up the hill to our neighbor's yard.
me: hey! what are you doing up there?
*he jerks around and holds his finger to his mouth
asher: SHHHH!
me: what are you doing, asher?
*he does some martial arts moves and then keeps sneaking. nate and i ever so unquietly walk up to asher.
me: ok. what's going on?
*he points down the road
asher: the man in the blue shirt.
* i look down the road and see a man walking.
me: what about him?
asher: i need to follow him.
me: no, you don't.
asher: mom! he's just walking down the road! he might be doing something bad!
me: maybe, but it looks like he's just walking.
asher: i need to go check because i'm a ninja.
*he does some more martial artsy moves
me: asher, we're not following a random man down the road so that you can perform ninja karate moves on him.
asher: awwwww, mom!

along with chasing bigfoot, asher also likes to dabble in ninja-ing. watch out, all you squatches and random unsuspecting neighbors. asher's itching to use his moves.

cute

me: whatcha doin', nate?
nate: huh? ummm...um um...um...
me: just being cute?
nate: yeah, mom. i just being cute.

true dat, son. true dat.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

squatch

asher: mom? if we hear or see a sasquatch then we have to call this expert team on this show.
me: yeah, that's a good idea, bud.
asher: and when i grow up then everyone in this house can be an expert team and we can find sasquatches.
me: ok. that sounds fun.
asher: yeah. me and you and dad and nater and papa and gangee and owen and marcus and amber can all be the expert team.
me: alright.
asher: but, mom?
me: yeah, bud?
asher: i will just ride in your backpack. that will protect me from the sasquatches...cause i'm a little scared of them.

ever since asher saw a commercial for the tv show "finding bigfoot," he's been a little obsessed. he watched part of an episode for the first time tonight. we're thinking he may be destined for a career in cryptozoology.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

wormies

nate: mom! dis rock! find a wormie.
me: ok. let's lift it up and see.
nate: oh! no wormies!
me: nope, not under that one.
nate: now, dis rock.
me: alright.
nate: oh! der's a wormie! i get it, mom!

the boys and i do regular bug hunts when we're outside. nate's favorite is to flip up every single rock he can find to check for earth worms. then he usually pulls them apart or squitches them a little too hard. poor wormies.

pop

me: asher, what are you doing out of bed, bud?
asher: um, mom? i was in my bed and then i just heard this popping sound.
bryan: a popping sound? from where?
asher: oh! *he poots* there it goes again! you hear that popping sound coming from my booty?

oh, that boy.

coffee

nate: it's a manna.
me: yep. you've got a banana.
nate: and it's cereal.
me: and cereal.
nate: and chocate milk!
me: yep.
nate: mama's milk.
me: no, i've got coffee.
nate: *wrinkling up his nose* coffee stink.

i demand to know who is teaching my baby such lies. stinky, stinky lies.

Monday, October 22, 2012

wrestle


video
asher's tactic: kick, hit, karate chop with as much force and strength as he can muster. he goes for the kill.

nate's tactic: baby battle cry followed by flopping and bouncing.

both ways are pretty effective in keeping dad down for the count.

Monday, October 8, 2012

facebook

me: husb! it's so exciting that you're on facebook again! it's like we're getting married all over again! ADD ME AS YOUR WIFEY! why haven't you done that yet?!
bryan: wifey, i did. you just haven't signed in yet to accept my request.
me: oh...ok. good job. husb! it's like a whole new level of connectedness! WE CAN FACEBOOK FLIRT!
bryan: yeah...how do i change my info stuff? oh, nevermind.
me: you got it?
bryan: yeah, but how do i search for new people to add?
me: *giggling
bryan: what are you laughing at?
me: i find your ineptitude on facebook amusing.
bryan: shut it.
me: *stroking his bearded man face* don't worry. i will teach you everything you need to know, husb.
bryan: shut. it.

the husb got back on the Facebooks. my excitement could not be contained.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

slobber

me: oh, you've got something on your face.
*i lick my finger and wipe the grim off his chubby cheek
asher: ok.
*he licks his finger and wipes it on my cheek
me: why did you do that?
asher: because you did it.
me: why do you think i did it?
asher: because you like to wipe your slobber on people.

precisely, son.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

help

hey y'all. i have an important question. i believe i have asked it before, but i'm for real this time. how many of you would be interested in buying one of the adoption prints that i posted yesterday?? or, if you'd rather, you can order a birth stats print.

If you are interested here's a couple of questions:
1) would you rather have a PDF through e-mail or an actual print through regular type mail?
2) would you pay $10-$12?
3) would it help if i told you all the money goes to Brandon & Leah's adoption fund?
4) would you like to see some samples? go here and here. oh, and here.

answer my questions. share this with all 8,423 of your facebook friends.

it costs a lot of money to bring home a sweet adopted child, ya know.

Friday, October 5, 2012

adoption

bry and i have some sweet friends whom we love dearly who just started the adoption process. we cannot wait to meet their child.

in honor of Brandon and Leah's adoption, i created these:

(girl)

(boy)
(neutral)

i'm working on some with these scriptures as well:
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."John 14:18
"Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute." Psalm 82:3
"Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow."Isaiah 1:17

God is clearly on board with adoption. are you?

Thursday, October 4, 2012

worms

this conversation happened while papa was digging up some dirt to make a more level place for stepping stones...
me: ohhh, asher! look at all those worms under this stepping stone!
asher: oh, yeah! can i touch them?
me: sure. you can pick them up. just be careful not to pull too hard or they'll come apart.
asher: ok! i will put them in this bucket with the dirt. that will be a fine home for them.
me: great idea. there's another one! get him!
asher: ok!
*he's grabs it. peering down into the bucket he says,
asher: wow, look at all those little wormies. mom?
me: yeah, bud?
asher: it's kind of like a pet store. a worm pet store. all these wormies are my pets.
me: ok.
asher: what's papa gonna do with all this dirt in the bucket?
me: i think he's going to take it and dump at the end of the yard.
asher: what about the worms?
me: well, they'll just get relocated with the dirt. they'll be fine.
*we follow papa to the where he dumps the dirt and asher's new pets.
asher: yep. this is gonna make a fine home for these worms.
me: i think so too.
asher: NATER DON'T STEP ON THE WORMIES!
me: c'mon, nate. don't squish them, bud.
asher: mom? how about you chase nater and i will stay here to protect the wormies? i will get them some leaves because i know worms love to eat leaves and i will watch over them.

i cannot express to you how much i felt like i was talking to my childhood self during this conversation.  i once captured an ant from my grandma's yard and took him in the car with me because i thought he would make a lovely pet. i lost him in the car on the way home. asher is a child after his mama's critter lovin' heart. bless him. somebody get that boy a puppy.

nater, meanwhile, was pulling worms to bits and throwing them over his shoulder. bless him, too.

shrek

me: watcha doing, asher?
asher: watching shrek.
gangee: tell her what it's about. a green...
asher: a green yogurt.
me: ohhh, yeah. he is an ogre.
asher: yeah, he's a green yogurt!

i made him tell me what shrek was about approximately 27 more times that evening.

p.s. the boys call my mom "gangee." pronounced like "gangrene" without the r. she swears that asher called her that when he was about 4 months old. and now she will forever be called such.

hamper

bry: wifey! you know what i find the most behind and around this clothes hamper?
me: what?
bry: asher's socks and your panties.
me: hmmm, all the best things, i see.
bry: you're ridiculous. aim better.

i read a quote once about how marriage is great because you find that one special person you get to annoy for the rest of your life. let me tell you, that is so true.

and so much fun.

eye shrinkage

me: woah, his eyes look smaller...
bryan: *gives me a silent, incredulous stare as crickets chirp somewhere in the background
me: i mean, between the two pictures. his eyes look smaller, right?
bryan: elise...
me: what?
bryan: i think his face just got fatter.
me: oh.
bryan: did you really just look at those two pictures and think "hmmm, he must be suffering from eye shrinkage" instead of, "he must have put on some weight over the years?"
me: husb, you can't tell me his eyes don't look smaller.
bryan: really? you really think eye shrinkage is the most logical conclusion.

the first set here of dear westley are the pictures in question. after reviewing them again, i'm sticking by my professional and most logical diagnosis of eye shrinkage. definitely eye shrinkage.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

year

bryan: asher? why are you out of your bed?
*asher slinks into our room, hanging his head
asher: well, um, because...what's daddy eating?
me: he's eating a little snack. is that why you're out of bed?
asher: no, but, um...what kind of snack?
bryan: it's popcorn, bud.
asher: oh, i haven't had popcorn in a whole year, ya know?
me: asher, you had popcorn for a snack this afternoon.
asher: yeah, but not from that bag.
me: maybe if you ask daddy politely, he could share a piece with you.
asher: daddy? can i have a piece of that popcorn, please?
bryan: you can have a piece, but then you have to go back to bed, bud.
asher: ok!
*bryan hands asher 3 pieces.
asher: wow! thank you!
me: maybe if you ask nicely he'll let you have a sip of his milk too, asher.
asher: daddy? can i?
bryan: yes, bud. finish chewing, get a sip, and go back to bed, ok?
asher: ok.
me: good night, bud. sleep good. love you so much!
bryan: love you, asher!
asher: love you!

we love these silly little moments with asher when he's supposed to be in bed, but he sneaks out for some ridiculous reason. once he told us his leg was really itchy so he had to come find us to scratch it. his new thing is that he hasn't done whatever he wants in a whole year. silly, sweet boy.

Friday, September 14, 2012

tot

me: get down, nate.
nate: no, no, nooooo!
me: yes, sir. get down.
nate: no! no get down!
me: ok.
*i get up to go get him from where he is precariously dangling half way on top of the TV stand. he scrambles and falls on his stubborn baby booty.
nate: woah! phew! i ok!
me: don't do it again, tot.
nate: i ok.
me: that doesn't mean you can do it again.

i hope he grows out of his love for dangerous endeavors before he hits his teenage years.

tuck in

me: good night, bud.
asher: good night, mom.
me: i love you so!
asher: love you too, mom.
me: you are so very special.
asher: yeah. mom? you know why i'm special?
me: why?
asher: because i belong to you and daddy.
me: well, that's one of the reasons you're so special. we are so blessed to be your parents!

i am so thankful that he already has a sense of belonging within our family.

once upon a time

me: once upon a time there was a...
asher: family! me and you and daddy and nater!
me: oh, ok! and our family was...
asher: walking down the sidewalk by the ice cream shop across from the race cars.
me: ...and we were walking and talking. then, we looked both ways and very carefully crossed the street so that we could go ride the race cars.
asher: yes! and me and daddy got in a red one with orange flames. that's because flames means it's the fastest car!
me: ok, and me and nater got in a pink car!
asher: no, not nater. he's on the boy team so he got in the car with me and daddy. you're girl team so you have to ride by yourself.
me: ok, so we start racing and i almost beat team boy!
asher: yeah, almost, but you don't because our car has flames, remember? and flames means we're the fastest.
me: ok, the boy team wins!
asher: yeah, that was a good story, mom.

asher and i play once upon a time when we have time to pass, like when he's going potty or we're driving in the car. usually his stories and subsequent details are about mac trucks or bears or other things that might grab a little boys interests. i was touched that this time, he told a story about his family spending time together. although, i think we're eventually going to need to add a little girl to our crew so that i stand a chance against the boy team.

speed

me: wow, asher! you beat papa in that race!
asher: yes, i sure did.
me: you're really fast.
asher: yes, i sure am. do you know why, mom?
me: why?
asher: because i have speed in my heart. when you have speed in your heart you can go very fast.
me: well, that explains it then.

his heart is also full of adorable expressions.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

boogs

bryan: c'mon, booger. let's go in the house.
asher: i'm not a booger! i'm a boy!
bryan: oh, yeah. you're right.
asher: dad? did you call me booger because i was eating my boogers on the way home?
bryan: no. were you eating your boogers on the way home?
asher: *giggling* yeaaaaah.
bryan: you will ruin your lunch doing that!

our son has a booger eating problem.

Monday, August 27, 2012

jam

me: whatcha doin', asher?
asher: nothing, mom. just jammin' like a jam jam!
me: jammin' like a jam jam?
asher: yep! jammin' like a jam jam!
me: cool, dude.

jammin' like jam jam is one of asher's favorite phrases. he uses it multiple times a day. i'm not sure exactly what it means or where it came from, but i'm loving it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

little boy gospel

*as we're driving in the car
asher: mama, i'm a big brave boy and i never give up!
me: yes, you are. that's a wonderful attitude!
asher: yep.
*later during a quiet moment, i start to sing
me: Jesus loves me, this i know...
asher: mom, Jesus lets us be brave and never give up!
me: yes, asher, that's exactly what He does! how does He do that?
asher: well, cuz we can love each other and not be ugly.
me: yes, He taught us how to love each other and how to love and know God so that we can all live well together and worship Him!
asher: yep.
me: how did He do that? do you remember how Jesus was born on earth, but He was still God's Son? and how He taught us all those things about love and about God while He was here? He helped us understand so much about God and and each other and the whole Bible.
asher: yep.
me: but a lot of people thought He was lying and they hated Him, so they crucified Him and He died. and then what happened?
asher: they put that big, huge stone in front of the tune!
me: yes, they put Him in the tomb to bury Him. because he was dead and we bury dead people, but then what happened? after 3 days?
asher: HE WAS ALIVE!
me: YES! God brought His Son back to life! and that's why, if we believe in Jesus and all that He did and said and was, then we can be brave and never give up! because even though we're stinky sinners and that makes life hard, He made a way for us to know and love God and love each other.
asher: yeah, and be brave.
me: the bravest. we don't anything to be scared of in Jesus. not even death!
asher: yeah. mom?
me: yes?
asher: big boys are brave and sometimes they poot!

let me just go ahead and say that this sweet (minus the poot talk at the end) conversation happened in the car yesterday morning and by yesterday afternoon asher had apparently forgotten all about it. he was ugly and defiant. he was stomping and spitting. he was the stinkiest of sinners. which, in turn, made me want to stomp and spit and yell back and pour all my stinky sin out too. i was utterly frustrated. however, my son is not yet a believer in Christ. despite our prayers and attempts to guide him as best we can to Jesus, sin still reigns supreme in his life.

which brings me to my point. asher is not a believer, but i am. no matter how frustrated i get with his behavior, i am responsible to discipline with grace, love, and self-control. i'm thankful for conversations like the one above not only because they may eventually point my son to Christ, but also because i need to hear the gospel every day too. i need to be reminded that in Christ, even when i feel like losing it and spewing stinky sin all over the place, Jesus has given me every reason to be brave and never give up.

Friday, August 17, 2012

a print

this girl is having a sale in her etsy shop. 45% off your order and it ends today. i don't know her, but i saw this print on a random blog once and just fell in love. soooo, i took advantage of the sale and finally ordered it.

and because i'm a big fan of people making a living off of their creative expressions, you should browse around her store today before her sale ends. i'm not getting anything from this post other than the pleasure of knowing that you may find some beautiful art that you just love and simultaneously support a creative soul in the process.

sweet baby

me: hey, nater tot!
*nate looks at me, waves his chubby, little hand back and forth, and says
nate: hey, mama.

that sweet boy melts my heart just by saying my name. bry's at the doctor with him right now because on and off for two weeks, nate has been suffering from vomiting and diarrhea and we have no idea why. he'll seem fine for a few days and then get so sick that he can't even keep pedialyte down. praying that the Lord gives the doctors wisdom to figure out what's going on quickly with minimal poking and prodding.

bambi

asher: oh, mom, look!
me: i see, bud.
asher: bambi is fighting those mean dogs!
me: yep, he's saving the girl deer again, huh?
asher: yes! yes, he is!
me: oh! she got away!
asher: yeah! he saved her!
me: yep.
asher: wow...he is such a great rescuer. did you see that he's a great rescuer, mom?

i love that my little boy is completely in awe of rescuing. he often pretends that he is rescuing or protecting someone or something as he plays. not only do i find these qualities in him endearing, but i also think that any opportunity to discuss the act of rescue is an opportunity to share the gospel with my sweet child. Christ as our Rescuer, Ransom, Redeemer, and Reconciliation.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

country

asher: naytuhr! you cayn't throw sayuhnd! if ya throw sayuhnd, it miyte git in ma britches! if it gits in ma britches, i won't ever git it out!

since we moved back to SC, asher has developed quite a southern drawl. occasionally, his southern accent is very distinct, as in the above sentence.

can you translate country?

gators

asher: hey mom, let's pretend like you're a gator and i'll be a gator boy and i'll catch you and then i'll let you go and you'll be so happy and free.
me: ok.
*i swim around on my belly like a big ol' gator.
asher: ok!
*asher jumps on me and wrestles around
asher: come here, you gator! i'm gonna get cha and take you to the wild!
me: don't forget my baby gator!
*i scoop up nate and asher stops and looks at me
asher: but, mom?
me: yeah, bud?
asher: but what about your middle-sized gator?
me: and who might he be?
*he taps his thumbs on his chest and smiles
asher: me! i'm your middle-sized one!
me: i thought you were the gator boy?
asher: well, now i'm in your gator family!

along with turtle man, asher also enjoys watching gator boys on animal planet. he proceeded to show me exactly how gators have to swim when they're in the pool.

hide

asher: hey nater! let's play hide and sink!
*nate immediately covers his eyes and peeking through his fingers, counts
nate: one, teeew, freeee, fohhhrr, iiiive, ixxx, seben. RANNY O NOT!
*then he throws his hand in the air and shouts
nate: PAPRISE!!!

we love a good game of hide and seek around here. not only is it fun, but it's also the most adorable thing you ever did see.

Monday, July 30, 2012

pool time

me: come here, bud, and let me put some sunscreen on you.
*he lies down in the floor, holds up his leg, and says,
asher: ahhhhh, i can't wait kick off my boots, dig my paws in the sand, and get in the pool.
me: what?? you don't have boots...or paws.
asher: yeah, i know.
me: where did you hear that?
asher: kwazii.

the boys love the octonauts. even little nate will bring me the remote and say, "ocnots!"

turtle man

asher: uhhh, mom?
me: yeah, bud?
*he looks up at me and smiles sheepishly
asher: um, mom? do you think, maybe, we could pretend there's creatures in the house and i'm turtle man and i will catch all of them for us?
me: sure, bud. after you finish brushing your teeth.

my little turtle man caught, bagged and released a flying squirrel and a moose that he found under the bed. he ended each successful capture with the turtle man call, "yiyiyiyiyi live action!"

have you seen the turtle man? what little boy wouldn't want to catch and release wild critters?

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

new dress

have you heard of twice? it's an online resale store. i've been browsing around over there for a few weeks because i think it's a neat idea. however, i've never seen anything that caught my eye...until today! i found this dress and thought it was adorable (plus i already have shoes that match!), so i used my $10 credit i got when i signed up and snagged that thing for 16 bucks! it's from the limited and originally $107.99!


however, i'm a little nervous because normally i like to try things on before i spend money on them. has anyone ever used this site before?? i'll let you know what i think of the whole experience when the dress arrives.

late night of shame and hilarity

i'm hesitant to post this. thankfully, only a few people that i have to face in person read this blog so i shouldn't have to face overwhelming embarrassment. this happened last night:

me: husb! go to sleep! it's so late! stop slumber partying me!
*he wraps himself up in the entire blanket, leaving me unsnuggled and chilly
me: seriously?! did you just blanket burrito me?!
bry: yep.
me: but i'll freeze!
bry: you can stick you hands on my butt cheeks to keep them warm.
me: yeah, but what about the rest of me? your butt's not that big.
bry: ok, fine.
*he covers me back up with the blanket
me: thank you. now, go to sleep.
bry: i can't! i just got a second wind!
me: here's a second wind for ya!
*i fan the blanket
bry: did you really just say, "here's a second wind for ya" and fan your fart in my face?!
me: hahahaha! *laughing so hysterically that i can barely communicate* i did! that was SO funny!
bry: oh my gosh. you have to post this on your blog. if you don't, i'm going to hack it and post it for you. you always make me look crazy, but now it's your turn.

there you go, husb. i posted that junk. cuz i love you, boo.

Monday, July 23, 2012

spongebob

*asher comes and finds me in the laundry room 
asher: mom? the guy on the tv said spongebob is up next.
me: ok, babe.
asher: you should probably come and turn it because you know how you don't want me watching spongebob.
me: yep.

i don't have a vendetta against spongebob. i realize that when asher gets older he may want to watch it and that's fine. i just feel like, if he's going to watch tv, there are better shows on for a 3 year old. i mentioned one day that i didn't like spongebob as i turned the channel. now, every time asher hears that it's coming on, he comes to find me so that i can change it. i admit, i'm a little impressed with this behavior.

iguana

me: i don't know if it was the salty air or just being outside so much or what, but my arms have dry patches. they're all scaley.
husb: are you sure you didn't get bitten by a radio-active iguana at the beach?
me: i don't think so. maybe i did.
husb: yeah.
me: that might be cool because then i could get super powers.

i'm not sure what kind of super powers a radio-active iguana would yield, but they would probably be wondrous.

in the car

bryan: oh, the offspring. it's a good morning for radio.
*he turns up the radio in the car
me: you know, i've never really cared for the offspring.
bryan: whaaat?
me: that guy sings like this no matter what he's saying and it always sounds the same with no inflection or change eevvvvveeerrrrr.
*i do an awesomely spot-on impression of offspring singer guy.
bryan: that sounded nothing like him.
me: huuuusb, that sounded exactly like him!
bryan: you know what that sounded like? your anus coming out of your mouth.
me: i believe the official term for that is inverted anal reflux.
bryan: no, it's actually called anus reducto buttoxi.
me: i think that may be a harry potter spell, husb.
bryan: well, if it is, somebody cast it on you!

i'm thinking of installing a dash camera in our car so that i can have all of our awesome car conversations on record. also, i would like to watch our dancing/ singing jam sessions that spontaneously occur when we hear such musical gems as call me, maybe or it's getting hot in herr.
*notice that i did not include anything by the offspring in the musical gems examples.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

boogers

papa: elise! come here!
me: yeah?
papa: asher, tell mama what you just told me.
asher: boogers are good for me!
*he sticks a booger in his mouth
me: ewww! what?!
papa: he told me that it was ok if he eats his boogers because his mama told him that boogers are good for him.
me: haha! i never said that, asher john!

as clever as the mama-said-it's-good-for-me argument is, stop eating your boogs, dude.

Monday, July 9, 2012

ballgame

asher: i had so much fun today, mom.
me: im so glad, bud. i'm so proud of you for running the bases all by yourself!
asher: yeah, but i ran them with my friend, logan.
me: oh, yeah. you and logan ran together.
asher: yeah, who's logan again?
me: you tell me, silly.
asher: logan is my friend in the green shirt.
me: he was wearing a green shirt tonight.
asher: yeah, and then we won the race and got a prize!

bryan, asher, and i went with our church to a greenville drive baseball game yesterday. i don't think asher watched a single play, but he had so much fun playing with his buddy, logan. after the game was over, the kids got to go down and run the bases. at the end of the run, they were given a frisbee. that was definitely asher's favorite part!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

magic mimi

imagine with me, if you will, this hypothetical conversation...

bryan: hey, babe. me and the boys are going to see that new movie "magic mimi" tonight. 
me: huh?!
bryan: yeah, you know, the one with all of those really hot girls playing strippers. man, i hope it's in 3-D so their boobs look so real i could touch them. 
me: whaaaat?!
bryan: darling, it's just a movie. besides, you should be excited too because after i've been watching those girls strip for a few hours, you'll be getting lucky when i get home. 
me: excuse me?!

and that's about the time i would start screaming, weeping, and probably throwing blunt objects in his general direction. why, you ask? because i am jealous for my husb. i want his love and affection and sexual desire to be found in me and no one else. now, the above conversation would never, ever happen in my home. my husband loves me and makes me feel like i'm the only beautiful woman he has ever seen. he is careful to guard his heart and mind from other things that may tempt him to stray. and although no marriage is perfect, me and the husb have a pretty dang awesome one. and since i am SO proud to be his wifey and i want to keep our marriage healthy, i refuse to spend money on smut like magic mike. 

for a few weeks now, i've been pondering writing a blog about how disappointed i've been in my fellow women for supporting the sketchyness that is ol' magic mikey. all of those excuses and reasons in the above conversation are ones i've heard or read women use. however, this girl expresses my convictions way better (and probably kinder and gentler) than i would. so, please, go read her blog.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

slumber party

bry: wifey, why do you snuggle up over here before you go to sleep when you know you're going to become a blazing inferno in a few minutes and have to roll over by yourself?
me: because, husb, i'm trying to cherish my few minutes of snuggling time with you while i can. shush it and go to sleep.
bry: quit trying to make out with me right before bed, woman!
me: huuuuusb! will you stop talking and go to sleep!
bry: hahaha!
me: and by the way, i need you not to ask me any questions that require a response within the first 15 minutes of me waking in the morning. you can talk at me, but not with me.
bry: i understand that you are a butts and cannot function socially first thing in the morning.
me: yep.
bry: and that you hates me.
me: huuuuuusb!
bry: hahahaha!
me: quit trying to slumber party me! go to sleep!

a few things:
1.) somehow, as soon as i fall asleep, i become a heat radiating machine of fire.
2.) it's true, i am socially dysfunctional upon waking.
3.) ignore my husb's accusations of pursuing make out.
4.) i do not hates him.
5.) the husb and i do this thing that i have aptly named slumber partying. it's when we should both be sleeping because we both rise early, but instead we giggle and talk about silly things and are generally ridiculous.

and everyone knows that you cannot slumber party on a week night. save it for the weekend, husb!

a few of my favorites things

the nater tot talks all the time. much of the time he prefers to use his baby gibberish that we have not yet learned to decipher. judging by his serious demeanor and the emotional cadence of his voice, he is communicating very important information in this language, if only we would listen and understand. alas, we have yet to uncover the secrets of the world that he is, no doubt, telling us.

however, he does use some words that we do understand. here are a few of my favorites.

  • whenever he holds a phone, or an item that he's pretending is a phone, he pushes it up to his chubby little cheek and says, "heeeelwwwwoooooaaaahhh? helwoah?" it may be the cutest phone greeting you have ever heard. ever.
  • asher = "ashure" or usually "aaasshhuuuuuuuuure!" i'm thinking about changing my eldest's name so that i can hear nate call him this forever.
  • he also calls asher, "brubber" instead of brother. 
  • one of my very favorite things is when he says, "dwumph!" and then he jumps. and by jump, i mean he squats down and then propels himself onto his tippy toes while never really leaving the ground at all. he will dwumph over and over and over again.
he better be coming home from high school telling me that he did awesome in the long dwumph in gym class. when i call him while he's away at college, i need him to answer the phone by saying, "helwwooooaaahhhh?"

or maybe i will just continue to blog about the adorability of his words and allow him to develop normal speech patterns. whatever, i guess.

he also says normal ones like mama, daddy, chootrain, and cheetoh. what's that, you say? not every one and half year old asks for cheetos?  i am ashamed. seriously, i am. those things are stinky and leave florescent orange residue. i do not eat them. however, there are some grandparents in the family who believe kids need cheetos for sustenance.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

surprise

bry: wifey?? did you mean to leave your hair on the shower wall?
me: huuuuuusb! did you not notice what shape it was in?!
bry: *sigh* yes, yes, i did.
me: whaaaat? you didn't just love your hair heart surprise?
bry: ugh, wifey. you know i hates hair surprises.
me: husb, that is a handcrafted art form using a unique medium.
bry: *grumble grumble grumbly grumble

the husb hates it when i leave my hair on the shower wall. i usually try to remember to get it down and throw it away when i get out. however, if i know he's going to be showering right after me, sometimes i leave him love notes via hair. this time it was a heart. once, i painstakingly created "i heart u" on the wall. such hair surprises serve the dual purpose of both aggravating bry and making him laugh which happen to be two of my favorite things to do.

marriage is fun, y'all.

Friday, June 22, 2012

prickly

asher: mom? can i sit in your lap?
me: sure, bud.
*he sits down and pats my leg
asher: mom? i think you've got...hold on a minute!
*he runs to get his bug magnifying glass & proceeds to inspect my legs
asher: hmmm...seems like you've got some prickly things sticking out of your legs here...

i suppose, since it's officially summer now and all, that i should commence with the regular leg shaving.

sigh.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

protect

asher: can i get up behind you in that chair, mom?
me: i don't think that's a good idea, bud. it might be dangerous because this chair is only made for one person.
asher: don't worry, mom. i will protect you like daddy does. i will keep you safe from monsters and all those bad things.

i probably squitched him so hard that his lungs collapsed after that promise of protection. sheesh, i love that kid.

nap time

me: asher? before you go to sleep, what has been your favorite part of today so far?
asher: umm, when we ate doughnuts. 
me: we didn't eat doughnuts today, babe. 
asher: yeah, well, my favorite part of today was when we were just talking about eating doughnuts. 

he is a child after his mama's own sweets-loving heart. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

jelly

me: asher, if you try this slice of strawberry, i'll give you a granola star.
asher: ok!
*he bites it
me: ok, now chew it up! it's so sweet and yummy!
asher: mmmmhhmmmm.
*he tries to smile while he fights off his gag reflex
me: good job, asher! you ate it! wasn't that delicious?!
asher: yeah. can i have a granola star now?
me: sure. did you know that jelly is made from strawberries? that's where jelly comes from.
asher: yes, and it also comes from jellyfish.

i have to bribe asher to eat things that are good for him (yet another reason why i'm so thankful for the granola stars.) he has a very strong gag reflex and has been known to throw up upon trying healthy things. honestly, i was surprised that he managed to chew and swallow a big chunk of strawberry with minimal gagging.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

dessert

me: asher! lunch is ready!
*he comes into the kitchen and sits down
asher: wow, mom! thanks for making my lunch!
me: you're welcome, bud. i'm happy to do it!
asher: i'm going to eat my sandwich and cheese first and then my desserts.
me: ok.
asher: thanks for getting me these desserts, mom.
me: you're welcome.
asher: no, i mean, thanks for giving me these desserts without you saying no to me.

asher's lunch consisted of a toasted whole wheat english muffin with a little bit of jelly and 1/2 a slice of colby jack cheese. his desserts were a cup of healthy yogurt and a homemade granola star. i used this recipe and they taste awesome! i didn't have peanuts on hand, so i melted crunchy peanut butter instead and it worked great. i also added flax seed and chocolate chips. asher and i used star shaped cookie cutters to make granola stars instead of bars. the boys love them because they're getting a special, sweet treat. i love them because they're healthy and i know exactly what's in them. this recipe has definitely become a family favorite!

bungles

me: asher, look at that big ol' bumblebee!
asher: ah! get out of here, bee! shooo!
me: if you don't mess with him, he won't bother you, bud.
asher: mom, i don't like bunglebees! bunglebees chase me and try to get me!

asher has always said bunglebee instead of bumblebee. it is one of the few mispronunciations that he still obliviously uses.

i love it so much. i hope he is still calling them bunglebees when he's 16.

Friday, June 15, 2012

fun

me: asher, it's time to get ready to take a nap. go potty, please.
asher: but, mommy? i don't want to take a nap because if i take a nap, i will miss all my fun.
me: well, you can have some more fun this afternoon when you wake up.
asher: yeah. mom? do you think i can have my fun back tonight?
me: yep. after nap.
asher: good, cus i really like my fun. i can't wait to get it back.

clean

me: nate? what are you doing?
*i hear a scratchy scratchy sound and i turn around from where i'm bent over the tub cleaning
nate: yah.
*he gives me a big grin and continues scrubbing the top of the closed toilet lid with the toilet brush
me: nate! no sir! that's yucky!
*i take the brush away
nate: noooooooooo!

moments before he decided he needed to help, nate had seen me scrubbing out the inside of the toilet with the bowl brush. how cute, clever, and gross all at the same time.

biper

nate: biper!
*he hands me a dipaer
me: do you need your diaper changed?
nate: yah.
* he pats his bottom
nate: poopoo.

i hope this means he'll be easier to potty train than his brother was.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

zoo

asher: mom? i think this rhino needs a slide.
me: a slide? ok, i think we can make that.
asher: and the elephant needs a roof, but only a little one. that way he can go in when it's raining, but be in the sun when it's sunny.
me: ok. you color the alligator's box. i think he needs some water.
asher: ok! mom! the ostrich & the zebra cannot live in the same box.
me: well, hand me another box to cut then!


asher, nate and i went to the zoo yesterday with my sister and her son, owen. papa gave us some money to get the boys a gift. we found a cute melissa & doug puzzle with chunky, wooden zoo animals. today, asher and i cut up and colored some old food boxes to make habitats for the animals. i'm pretty sure i had as much fun as he did.

and who knew that rhinos enjoy slides?

cake

me: asher! please stop licking icing and put the lid back on that cake. we have to eat lunch first.
asher: but, mom?
me: yes?
asher: there's just one, tiny piece left in there. are you pretty sure you don't want me to eat it now?
me: yes, i'm sure.
asher: *sigh* oooook.

distracted

asher: mom? i maybe need a little help here.
* he walks out of the bathroom with his underwear around his ankles
me: pulling up your underwear? are they twisted up?
asher: yeah, these undawears are getting a little distracted down there.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

chick

asher: hey, you chick!
papa: what? i'm not a chick. i'm a dude. your mama is a chick.
asher: no, she's not.
papa: yes, she is.
asher: no, papa! she's not a chick because she's not an animal.
papa: she is a chick!
asher: no! she doesn't have feathers or a beak for a nose!
papa: hey, chicky chick!
asher: nooooooo!

my father is fond of aggravating. at christmas they had a toy reindeer in a rocking chair that would sing "grandma got run over by a reindeer" if you squeezed it's hoof. we heard variations of the following conversation over and over and over.

papa: asher got run over by a reindeer!
asher: no, papa. that's not how it goes.
papa: oh, i meant, nater got run over by a reindeer!
asher: no, papa! here. i will show you.
*asher squats down in front of the reindeer.
asher: reindeer, i will squeeze your foot and you sing and show papa how it goes, ok?
*before the reindeer finishes-
papa: see, it does say ASHER GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER!!!!
asher: papa! no, you're not listening!!

despite his love of aggravation, papa happens to be a favorite to all of his grandboys.

potty mouth

asher: mom? when you get bigger and you're a big boy then you'll get a diddle like me and nater and daddy.
me: nope, i won't. i'm a girl so that means i will never have a diddle.
asher: oh. we use our diddles to pee, but you're a girl, so you sit down and use your butt.
me: well, sort of.
asher: yeah.
me: yep.
asher: mom, you don't get to have a diddle like us big boys.

apparently, i have a very observant child. also, i need to start locking the bathroom door.

Friday, June 8, 2012

discipline

me: asher, what will happen if you choose to disobey right now?
asher: umm, either i will get a spank or we will go to the jungle.
me: i'm pretty sure we won't be going to the jungle, bud.
asher: awwww...

although going to the jungle does sound more fun than giving spanks.

waffles

asher: mom? can i have a little more syrup?
me: sure.
*i pour his syrup
asher: woah! woah, mom! take it easy with that.


you take it easy with the big boy talk, sir.

the c word

bryan: crap! wifey? i need your help. the trash bag broke!
me: ok.
asher: yeah, crap!
bryan: you can't say that word, asher.
me: you just said it. you should probably apologize.
bryan: ok, bud. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have said that word. you can't say it either.
asher: buuuuuut daaaaaddy! i jus really like you and i want to be jus like you so i'm gonna say crap too.
bryan: oh, boy. we'll have a man heart-to-heart on the way to take the trash off. and don't look at me like that.
me: like what?
bryan: i can see a bazillion different i-told-you-so's in that look.

i realize that crap is a pretty tame word in today's world, but coming from the mouth of a 3 year old it just sounds so wrong.

Monday, April 16, 2012

an important question

this fall some very dear friends of ours are planning to start their homestudy as part of the adoption process. they are currently praying and looking for ways to raise the money to adopt without having to resort to loans to pay the $8,000-$10,000 fees. i've been brainstorming different ways to help them.

SO, i was wondering if anyone would be interested in buying any of the word art prints that i've posted before?? and if so, how much would you be willing to pay?? i just can't think of any other good ideas. let me know if you've got any!

Friday, April 13, 2012

little girl stuff


sunshine print for a little girl
birth stats
cut out and back with matching scrapbook paper to make cute 4x6 prints

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

daddy

last night asher woke up and came and got in the bed with me. bryan had already left for work.

asher: where's daddy?
me: at work, bud.
asher: why is he at work?
me: he has to work so that he can make money and take care of us. he does a good job taking care of us, doesn't he?
asher: yes, he does. and he does a good job protecting us from monsters too. 
me: yes, he does.

the voice

me: i just decided that i'm going to audition for the voice and then i can make us enough money to adopt two little girls.
bryan: ok, but you can't be on adam's team. i can't have you hanging out with a guy that looks as good as him all day.
me: yeah, ok. well, i guess i'll have to go with blake then. i don't really care to be on ceelo or christina's team.
bryan: i think i'll be on christina's because obviously we have very similar singing styles.
me: haha! yeah, you're pretty diva, but you can't be on the show too because then we'd have to compete against each other and i don't want to break your little heart when i beat you.
bryan: don't worry. me and christina will let you down easy when i win.
me: sheesh. if you're going to do it too then we have to do it as a duet.
bryan: baby, if we do it separately then we'll have double the chance!
me: no way. that's it! i'm going to be on team adam!
bryan: what?! ok let's compromise. we'll both be on...
me & bry at the same time: team ceelo!

i'm slightly addicted to the voice. it can't be that hard to out sing a bazillion way more awesome singers than me, right? watch out for team mcclelland on next season!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

freezing

me: asher john, are you ready to eat lunch?
asher: wunch? yeah, my bewwy is fweezing.
me: um, ok. well, are you hungry?
asher: my bewwy is jus weally fweezing today.
me: ok. so, does that mean you are hungry?
asher: uh, mom? i fought i already told you dat my bewwy was fweezing.
me: well, excuse me, sir. i wasn't sure if a freezing belly meant a hungry belly.
asher: but i told you it was weally fweezing.

kids these days and their new hipster lingo expressions.

baby belly

asher: mama, dat guy was jus taking his twash too.
me: yep, he sure was. lots of people have to use this dump to take their trash.
asher: he was a big ol' guy.
me: yes, he was a little bigger, bud.
asher: yeah, he had a baby in his bewwy.
me: oh! oh, no. bud, only girls can have babies in their bellies. and we only talk about that if they've told us that they actually have a baby in their belly. sometimes people just have bigger bellies.
asher: yeah, but do you have a baby in your bewwy cause you're a girwl?
me: nope, i definitely do not.
asher: yeah, but when your bewwy gets bigger there will be a baby in there.

we have 3 friends who have babies in their bellies right now. asher thinks it's really cool. he also thinks big bellies mean babies, regardless of gender or age. i'm trying really hard to teach him the difference before he asks some random man at the store about the child he thinks is growing in his big ol' belly.

Monday, January 23, 2012

soldiers

bry: hurry, tot! take cover from the germans!
*he picks nate up and puts him in between us.
me: yeah! get in your foxhole, sir!
bry: you can be like lieutenant speirs and jump through a mortar round and then race through enemy gunfire so that you can jump a wall to meet up with the other company only to run back through the same enemy fire so that you can get back to easy company!
me: yeah! you're so brave, lieutenant!
*bry starts to tickle nate
bry: yep. you're the baddest, scariest most son of a gun in the whole army...with you're 3 little teethies shining and your adorable baby giggles.

bry and i read Beyond Band of Brothers: The Memoirs of Captain Dick Winters a few weeks ago. them we used some christmas money and went out and bought the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers. we finished the 10 episodes in a little over a week. we're hoping to find time to watch the hour and half documentary tonight.

we've become a little obsessed. i usually don't enjoy war movies and such, but the stories of those men are so heroic, so beyond the limits that it's hard not to be mesmerized with their histories and in awe of their sacrifices. our little t.v. trip to normandy and back has certainly inspired gratitude for those soldiers.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

excuses

me: asher? why are you out of the bed?
asher: um...cause my weg is reawy itchy...
me: baby, you can scratch your leg in the bed. there's no need to get up for that. back to bed, bud.
asher: yeah, somefin was jus scratchin it. ummm, but i gotta go pee!
me: ok, well let's go potty and then you're going back to bed and not getting up again.
*he goes to pee
asher: mom?
me: yeah?
asher: i don't know which weg was the itchy one. it was pretty itchy...
me: asher, you can scratch whatever itchy part you find when you're back in the bed.

asher gets pretty creative with his excuses for being out of bed. the old itchy leg is a pretty serious ailment that simply must be taken care of out of bed.

baby names

when bry and i were picking out names for our boys meaning was extremely important to me. i really needed our boys to have strong, meaningful names.
here's some simple art to display our boys' names:





Friday, January 20, 2012

sweet

bry: wifey?
me: yeah, husb?
bry: i know you're feeling insecure because you've got your period this week, but you still look beautiful naked.

my husb has this habit of popping in the bathroom to see me whenever he hears the shower cut off. after carrying and delivering two, full-term babies and nursing those two babies for a year each, my body is certainly not the same one that walked down the aisle to him. it is much more saggy, flabby, and stretched these days, but he consistently tells me he still thinks it's beautiful.

he sure knows how to kick my insecurities in the booty. thanks for loving me so well, husb.

Friday, January 13, 2012

potty privacy

as i'm sitting in the bathroom, i hear asher lay down outside the door. then he slides his hand under the door and giggles. then he asks,

asher: hey! what are you doing in there, mama?
me: well, asher john, i'm pooping.
asher: huh? why are you doing that in der for?
me: because when i have to poop, i have to come let it out in the potty.
asher: whaaat?! why do you let it out in the potty?
me: why do YOU let your poopoo out in the potty?
asher: um, mom? we're not talking to me right now. we're talking only to you.
me: oh, excuse me then.
*i hear him jiggling the door handle
asher: mom? did you wock da door? oh! no, you forgot!
*he walks in
me: hey, bud. why don't you go see daddy in the living room and let me finish up.
* about that time bry walks in
bryan: come on, asher. let's leave mama alone.
asher: ok.
*they leave.

later bry told me that when they got back to the living room he noticed asher starting to walk back down the hall towards the bathroom.
bryan: asher john! you better not be going back to see mama.
*asher holds up his hand and says,
asher: stop! don't folwow me!
bryan: you're not going back to the bathroom are you?
asher: um, no...but jus don't folwow me.

one of the perks of motherhood is getting to spend quality time with the family with you're taking a poop. apparently, when mama is occupying the bathroom,it's the place to be.

Monday, January 9, 2012

rumbly

me: ok! you boys are getting too rough with mommy. i can't handle this tag team wrestling!
asher: yeah! me and nate are getting rumbly with you, mama!
me: well, this mama isn't for rumbling.
asher: yeah, mama is for walking...and pwaying wif toys.
me: what about for snuggles and kisses?
*he hugs and kisses me
asher: der you go. you can have all my snuggles.
me: that's what i'm talking about.

save all the rumbly stuff for daddy. i'll take all the snuggles and kisses.

haircut

me: asher john, you need a haircut.
asher: yeah, cause my hair is getting fuzzy. *sigh* jus like a girwl's hair.
me: do girls have fuzzy hair?
asher: yes. you have very fuzzy hair, mama. cause you're a girwl.
me: oh, well, i guess if your hair is getting all fuzzy like a girl's then we should definitely cut it.
asher: yep.

certainly can't have my firstborn looking like a fuzzy-headed girl.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

zeph 3:17

ever since i saw this verse over at Jones Design Company I've wanted to do something with it. after experimenting with lots of different fonts and colors, i decided to keep it simple.

here's what i came up with:

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

birth

finally got the boys birth stats finished! 

fairytale


i'm working on two more quotes to go with this one so that i can have a whole set about fairytales. i do ever so much enjoy fairytales.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

totter

yesterday, as i was tutesin' it up (the husb and i like to abbreviate words in ridiculous ways and then use them as whatever part of speech we need. working on a tutorial=tutesin' it up) nater tot came to investigate.

tot: hey, mom. whatcha doin'?

me: oh, you know, just working on a 2, 548 step tutorial to create word art.
tot: oh, neat. let me see.
me: you can't bend the computer backwards like that, tot. it might break.
tot: oh, yeah? well, how 'bout this?!
*he closes the computer
me: seriously, dude?! i'm trying to work over here!
tot: what chu gon do about it?!

that nater tot. he's a ruthless brute, i tell ya. 

p.s. please excuse his dwight schruteish hair. i promise i don't normally part it down the middle. he had just woken up from nap and it was looking a little goofy.