asher: can i get up behind you in that chair, mom?
me: i don't think that's a good idea, bud. it might be dangerous because this chair is only made for one person.
asher: don't worry, mom. i will protect you like daddy does. i will keep you safe from monsters and all those bad things.
i probably squitched him so hard that his lungs collapsed after that promise of protection. sheesh, i love that kid.