asher: mom? when you get bigger and you're a big boy then you'll get a diddle like me and nater and daddy.
me: nope, i won't. i'm a girl so that means i will never have a diddle.
asher: oh. we use our diddles to pee, but you're a girl, so you sit down and use your butt.
me: well, sort of.
asher: mom, you don't get to have a diddle like us big boys.
apparently, i have a very observant child. also, i need to start locking the bathroom door.