Thursday, June 30, 2011

to the rescue

bryan is tickling me. asher runs in the room to see what's going on and takes immediate action.

asher: don't worry, mom! i save you!
me: oh, thank goodness! help me!
bryan: you can't have her! she's miiiine!
asher: don't worry, my mom! i get you!
*he pulls my hand as hard as he can and bry lets me go
me: yaaaaayyy!
asher: phew, i did it! i just save you from daddy!
me: good job, asher john!

that's usually about the time bryan grabs both of us and tickles us mercilessly.

thankfully, the nater tot will be crawling soon. then it will be his turn to come rescue us from our tickling torture...or get caught in the trap with us.

surely 2 little heroes and 1 damsel in distress mommy can take on the big daddy tickle monster though. i can't wait to find out!

don't worry

as the boys and i were sitting in the living room, a car horn honked outside the window. it startles asher and he jumps. then he says,

asher: woah! don't worry, mom!
me: ok. thanks, bud.
asher: it just a horn. it outside.
me: yeah, i heard it.
asher: don't worry. it not gonna hurt you.
*he pats my leg reassuringly
me: thank you for letting me know.
asher: you're welcome, mom. it just a horn.
*he rubs my back

i just love having sweet boys that take care of their mama.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

bedtime Bible stories

every night, before bed, bryan or i read Bible stories with asher from this children's Bible. it's wonderful and lovely and if you haven't heard of it then you should get it for your kids...or grandkids...or nieces and nephews...or random kid you meet in wal-mart. seriously, it's that good.
tonight, after we read our Bible story, asher wanted to read the Bible to me. here are some of his Biblical interpretations based on the pictures:

Parting the Red Sea:
asher: der playing in da waters. and who's dat?
me: those are soldiers trying to come after them.
asher: yeah, cause der not suposa be in da waters. dos shoulders are gonna come and get dem out. der not suposa be playing in da waters.

Moses on top of Mount Sinai:
asher: he's on top ofa mountain.
me: yep. that's moses.
asher: yeah. he gotta be careful and get down or he might fall.
me: well, yeah. he might.
asher: yeah. dos boys down der are gonna get him down cause he might fall.

David and Goliath:
asher: who's dat?
me: that's goliath. he's a mean giant.
asher: he's got a hat on.
me: yep. that's his helmet.
asher: yeah. cause he's a shoulder.
me: yeah, he is a soldier.
asher: look at his toesies.
me: yeah, he's wearing sandals.
asher: look at my toesies! i got toesies too, but der in my socks right now.

after asher read to me we said prayers. when we were done he said,

asher: let's say pwayers again.
me: how about you say some prayers this time?
asher: ok.
*he squeezes his eyes closed.
me: can you say some?
asher: Jesus love me.
me: yes! He does love you!

it's so sweet to hear that wonderful truth coming from my son's sweet mouth.

Monday, June 27, 2011

it might be

me: let's change your big boy pull-up!
asher: my mom, it's a diaper.
me: oh no! it's not a diaper. it's a big-boy pull-up! diapers are for babies and you're not a baby. you get to go potty when you wear a big boy pull-up.
asher: yeah...but, it might be a diaper.

and you might be too smart for your own good, stinker.


baby nate: *grabs some papers that asher left beside him
asher: no, baby nate! you cannot have dees! dees are mom's papers! she need 'em!
baby nate: *stares confusedly at his brother
asher: here ya go, mom! i got your papers!

my papers had already been colored on, poked through with a pen, ripped off at the corners, and crumpled into balls by a certain stinker who had no concern at all for the well being of such papers until his baby brother tried to get in on the paper destroying action.

thanks for looking out for me, bud.


me: asher, come sit with me.
asher: no, my mom. i needa get a carrot.
me: a carrot?
asher: yeah, chure. a carrot.
me: are you sure that's what you want?
asher: yes! i chure!
me: ok, i'll get you one.
*i hand him a baby carrot
asher: mmmm, carrot.
*he licks it
asher: yuck! i no want dis carrot!
me: you have to bite it, not just lick.
asher: no! here! you bite it!

you know that carrot that my dear stinker was so sure he wanted? the yuck one?

yeah, i ate it for him.

even after he licked it.

i hear his daddy was prone to having-to-eat-his-veggies-induced fits of gagging and protest. so, it could be worse.

one day, my boy will eat his delicious veggies.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

oh, poop

me: asher, did you poop in your underwear?
asher: no, i did not.
me: are you sure?
asher: yes, i chure.
me: because i smell poop. is that poop on your leg?
asher: no, it is not.
me: so, it smells like poop and looks like poop, but it's not poop?
asher: no, it is not.
me: let me check...
asher: awww, my mom. i needa change my unnawears.

we had to change underwears and take a bath. it definitely was poop.


baby nate recently discovered that it's fun to lay on his back and play with and/or chew on his sweet baby toes. it's adorable and results in lots of happy nater totting squeals. 

asher recently discovered that his mom thinks it's gross for him to sniff and/or lick other people's toes. it is not so adorable and results in conversations like this,

me: ASHER! cut it out! do not lick my feet!
asher: *uncontrollable laughter
me: it's not funny, dude. it's gross and yucky!
asher: i jus smell them! *sniffs really hard
me: no, asher. that's yucky too!
asher: yeah, yuck! *giggle, giggle, gigglety, giggle

mother's disapproval makes yucky things hilariously more fun. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

you's a dirty boy

as i was in the bathroom with asher waiting on him to go potty, i yell:

me: what?  no, you didn't. that's chocolate cookie from earlier, remember?
asher: oh, yeah.
*looks down at his shirt, smiles, then yells,


once upon a saturday morning

bryan: what do you want to do today?
me: hang out with you and the boys. what do you want to do today, asher?
asher: pway with my fwiends! and my toys!
me: which friends?
asher: my twucks, my cars, my bwocks...
me: i didn't ask which toys. i asked which friends.
asher: yeah, ok! chure!!
me: i feel like we're not getting anywhere with this, dude...
bryan: i like how you just call him "tot" sometimes.
me: yeah, i'm gonna start drawing a cartoon and call it "stinker & tot."
bryan: yeah?
me: yeah. i'll add a new tab to my blog just for the comic strip.
bryan: ok.
me: nater totty too hot to trotty!
bryan: *just stares at me
asher: what dad doing?
me: i don't know. he's under brother's crib.
asher: yeah, i not know.
bryan: oh, cool! a transformer is under here!
me: he's playing with a transformer, apparently.
*bry sticks his head out
bryan: bew! bew! bew! he just blew up your knee!
bryan: you ain't never seen a tunnel as good as this one, baby!
me: your tunnel has a weak spot.
bryan: where?!
me: right here. you have to put another block underneath to hold it together well.
bryan: no, wifey. your solution is just a band-aid. here's what you've really got to do to make it sturdy.
me: i'm just saying, you've got some faulty construction.
bryan: and you could build a better one?
me: oh, yeah. i build better ones all the time. you need to add some height so that all of his cars and trucks can fit through.
bryan: i'm not gonna forsake quality craftsmanship just to gain some height. if you want to have the mcdonald's of block tunnels, then that's fine. mine is like the olive garden.
me: let me show you.
*i build my awesome tunnel
bryan: oh, that's your better tunnel?
me: yeah, see? it's got height and stability.
bryan: yeah, it's taller, but can it withstand kidzilla?!
me: asher, don't put that block there! mommy's working.
asher: awww...
*guilty pause
me: oh, i'm sorry, bud. they're your blocks. you can play with them and put them where you want.
saturday morning 'round these parts are always a special, family-time treat. i just love 'em.

Friday, June 17, 2011


as i was tidying up our constant-state-of-toddler-terrorized-disaster-of-a living room, i hear asher yell from the kitchen where he's eating lunch,

asher: awww, my mom! 
me: yes, bud?
asher: it's a snake!
me: a what?!
asher: der's a snake in here! 
*i run to the kitchen trying to think through all the possible snake-like creatures i may find: a worm? a centipede? or, could it possibly be, a real snake?
me: where do you see a snake?
asher: it jus a snake, my mom.
me: ok, but where? i don't see any snakes. 
asher: on my plate!
me: what?
*i check his plate for any slithery critters, but don't see anything. 
asher: right here!
*he holds up a crust of bread
me: that's your snake?
asher: yep. it's a snake, mom.

my, what a vivid imagination you have, sir. 

just so you know, snake is our favorite word that asher says right now. he actually pronounces it, "thwake" with a sweet little lispy s followed by a w sound. 

it's the most adorable thing ever. 

he also says "thwack" instead of snack. 

sometimes we try to get him to say words that begin with sn just because his pronunciation is so heart warming. maybe i'll make a video if i can get him to sit still long enough.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

the boys

these are pictures my sister took of the sweet baby boys in our family. my nephew, owen, is on the left, the tot is on the right, and, of course, asher in the middle. i just love the pictures.

dear taylors,

i meant to write something like this on pretty paper and give it to our friends, The Taylors, before they moved home to mississippi, but we were traveling that same week and it slipped my mind. 

dear taylors,

thank you for making us feel welcome the very first week we moved to wake forest by bringing us homemade blueberry muffins. it was a stressful week for me and that sweet, simple gesture made me cry.

thank you for inviting us to your small group the first time we visited north wake. we are so thankful to be a part of that church and small group is what made us decide to stay.

thank you for giving our son his very first best friend in your little noah. i miss seeing them play and learn together.

thank you for letting us use your wireless internet when we couldn't afford to buy it for ourselves. it meant that bryan could be home more often since he didn't have to go to the school to use the internet and get work done.

thank you for watching asher for us so that we could go to the hospital and deliver nate. it was a blessing knowing that our asher was being well taken care of while we were away.

thank you, lindsay, for being an encouragement to me as a mama, friend, and sister in Christ.

thank you for a bazillion other things that i've forgotten to write, great and small, that you did or said or prayed for.

we so appreciate you.

and we so miss you.


the mcclellands

6 months

it's true. my baby turned 6 months on June 14th.

it's okay. you can gasp if you need to. i can't believe it either.

since the little buddy a.k.a nater tot a.k.a. nator a.k.a. baby nate a.k.a. the babes that has so many nicknames that i could go on and write a whole post just about those, but i'll stop so as to get on with this post...where was i?

oh, yes. since our natey baby (told you there were more) doesn't get much blog time around these parts, i thought i would post some things about our sweet second son.

1.) he's got a charming, natural mohawk since the hair right down the middle of his head grows in thicker and longer than the rest of his hair. and you thought mohawks couldn't be charming. speaking of hair, he thinks his dad's beard is the coolest. thing. ever.

2.) he's starting to find his voice by giggling, babbling, and rooster calling. his high-pitched rooster noises are my favorite. it's adorable. obviously, he's trying to win as many blogposts as his brother by contributing to our daily conversations, but i'm just not sure y'all would enjoy reading a post that looked like this:

nate: uuuuuurrrrruuuuuuooooooooo
me: uroooouuuuhhhhuuuuaa?
nate: uraaaaaooooohhhh

yes, yes i do frequently try to respond to him in his own baby language. as you can see from the above sample convo, we generally discuss very deep things. don't judge me.

3.) he'll be crawling soon. he gets that sweet booty up in the air and tries so hard to get scooting. i love watching him try. sometimes when he gets tired he'll lay his head down, look at me, and start roostering. i appropriately and roosteringly respond with some encouragement. i said don't judge me.

4.) he's 75% for height and 70% for weight. although, these percentages are still above average, i feel like he's tiny compared to our gigantor stinker who was always 90% and above.

5.) the pediatrician was really impressed with him because when she held his hand to see if he would pull himself up from a lying position to a sitting one, that strong little buddy skipped sitting altogether and stood straight up. i believe her response went something like, "wow! you just stood up! you'll be pulling up on stuff soon! so strong!" for something that's pretty arbitrary and normal, i was a proud mama. i couldn't help it. do i need to remind you not to judge me? dang, don't judge me.

6.) he's loving him some veggies right now. bryan and i are not loving his enormous diaper-filling veggie poops. i'll spare you the gruesome details. let's just say whatever the color and amount of veggie that goes in his mouth comes out double in his diaper. ok, so i didn't spare you anything. i apologize. you can judge me now if you must.

7.) he's my favorite second born child ever in the history of second born children and i can't believe he's 6 months old for 2 reasons. first, because he's my baby and 6 months is 1/2 way to a year already and that should be impossible because he's my baby but it's not. secondly, because even though he's my baby he's such a part of our sweet family that it feels like he's always been with us. he's just lovely. you may also judge my run-on sentences.

#7 is a weird number to eND ON, BUT i like that NUMBER and this post is already 32490834 pages long. i'm impressed if you made it all the way until the end.

if you're wondering why some of those letters are capitalized it's because the big brother stinker came in and thought watching the green light on the caps lock button was too cool. i thought it was funny, so i left it. i'm sorry, nate, that your brother managed to weasel his way into your post. we don't call him the stinker for nothing.

Sunday, June 12, 2011


in the car on our way to church this morning, asher says from the backseat,

asher: gimme some knuckles, mom.
me: knuckles? ok!
asher: boom. boom.
me: oh, yeah.
asher: dat's what i'm talkin' bout, mom.
me: haha! that's what you're talking about?
asher: mmmmhmmm. dat's what i'm talkin' bout.
bryan: oh, our son. already a student of popular culture.
asher: oh yeah, dat's what i'm talkin' bout.

Friday, June 10, 2011

top chef

bryan: are you trying to give me a heart attack?
me: nope. why?
bryan: then why, knowing how often you accidentally cut yourself, are you using a butcher knife to chop that zucchini?!
me: because you've got the vegetable knife. plus, it's fun to chop things up with this huge knife!
bryan: this isn't a vegetable knife. it's a parring knife. you can use it for meat too.
me: husb, i'm pretty sure that "parring" is french for "vegetable."
bryan: i'm pretty sure your butt is french for vegetable. you're probably growing vegetables out of your butt right now. and quit karate chopping that zucchini with that huge knife!
me: husb, this is how the professionals do it. they chop. i'm just slicin' and dicin', baby!
bryan: if you slice your finger off, i'm gonna punch you in the face!
me: before or after you stifle the bleeding?
bryan: i'll do both at the same time!

i can't help it i'm a professional-butcher-knife-wielding-vegetable-chopper. sometimes the husb gets jealous of my skillzzzzzzz.

do you like how i added a "z" instead of an "s" at the end? i'm of the persuasion that putting a "z" where an "s" should be makes words more legit.

i may or may not have sliced my index finger ever so slightly whilst my husb was not looking.

i kept right on slicin' and dicin' that zucchini though.

because that's how professionalz do it.

boys will be monkeys...

bryan: he just ninja kicked you.
me: yep. straight to the shoulder.
bryan: that was like a mortal combat move. i'm pretty sure that one was A A FORWARD.
me: haha!
* asher jumps again
bryan: will you quit jumping on the couch?! you're like a little wildebeest! look at that grin. you look like a mischievous monkey.
me: asher, can you say mischievous monkey?
asher: 'cheevous monkeeeeeey?!

asher john is quite like a 'cheevous little monkey most days. we're always having to reign in his energy. i'm so thankful when the husb is home because he can give our crazy firstborn a fun energy outlet through pillow fights and big boy wrestling.

p.s. i did not know that wildebeest was spelled with two e's. i assumed it was "wildebeast." i had to google it just to make sure that my mac spellchecker wasn't lying to me. google confirmed that it is definitely "beest."

i'm a little weirded out by that.

i feel like i should pronounce that word with really exaggerated long e sounds now.


does anyone else feel the need to eeeeeee?

it's strange, i tell you.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

the difference between boys and girls

today, i'm babysitting a sweet girl who is about asher's age named sydney. her parents are some friends of ours that live in our neighborhood. it's fun to watch this dainty, delicate girl play with my rough and tumble stinker of a boy.

sydney: look! star stickers!
*she puts the stars on asher's arm
asher: awwww...
sydney: they're pretty! see? the stars are pretty.
asher: awww, mom. get dees stars offa here!! 
me: you don't like them? they're pretty.
asher: oh no! i not like em. you want em?

after asher stared at them disdainfully for a few minutes, the pretty star stickers were relocated to my pants leg. 

it's nice to have another girl around to help teach all these silly boys about the pretty things in life...

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

peepee goes in the potty

i like to lay nate on a blanket on the floor so that he can practice tummy time and his pre-crawling scoot. apparently, the floor is a precarious place to be whilst potty training the stinker.

me: asher, you better not be peeing in the floor right after we just sat on the potty!
asher: huh?
me: if you pee on your brother, i'm gonna spank!
asher: awwwww...

don't worry. as disappointing as it was for asher, i caught him before he could use his little brother for target practice.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

the potty chronicles: round 2

i'm hesitant to go public with the fact that we're trying potty training again since all we accomplished the first time was some stained furniture and a few bazillion loads of laundry from all the accidents. i'm hoping for better results this time. namely, a potty trained stinker.

me: are your underwear still dry, asher?
bryan: let's check! YAY! they ARE still dry! good job, bud!
asher: yahoo!
me: yahoo! that's my boy!
asher: yahoo! that's my mom!

more experienced parents keep telling me it will just click. maybe the second time will be the charm and we can avoid going all cliche with the third.

here's hoping...

Sunday, June 5, 2011

about a boy...the movie

me: bryan, it's time to wake up!
bryan: ugh!
me: husb, seriously, you gotta get up so we can spend some time with you.
bryan: grumpity grump hufflepuff...(did you catch that HP reference slipped in there?)
me: my husb is killing me softly with his sleep...stealing my day with his ZZZZZ's...killing me softly with his snores...killing me softly...with his sleeeeeeeeep
bryan: ok, wifey, dang. i'm getting up.
me: oooooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOOooooOOOOOaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahhhh
bryan: wifey...
me: lalalalalaaaalaaaOOOOOOOooooaaaaahhhhaaaaahhOOOOOooolalalalalaaa

all that to say that one of my favorite movies is about a boy. i generally love all things british. after torturing my husb with some roberta flack, i got a hankering to watch this movie. if you've seen it, then you know that this song plays a rather hilariously important role in the movie.

somehow my husb has gotten away with never watching it before. i guess he thought it was some kind of sappy romantic comedy since that's the kind of movie ol' hugh normally stars in. however, he watched it this time (my wonderful, operatic singing probably inspired him) AND he liked it! i even caught him smiling and laughing during some parts.

the moral of this story is three fold:
1.) go watch about a boy.
2.) sing some roberta flack with your eyes closed.
3.) find bryan and me a way to move to the UK so that we can be as witty and cool as british people.

on a sidenote, i read an article that said the adorably geeky little boy in the movie has grown up to be a UK teenage heart throb. you go, adorable geeky kid!

my babies

me: i just love those sweet little boys.
bryan: yeah, you know one day they're gonna grow up.
me: i'd rather not talk about it.
bryan: wifey, you need to start preparing yourself for that now so you can let them go when you need to without having an emotional break down.
me: i'm aware of that, but i've still got like 16 more years. i don't have to think about it now.
bryan: they're probably gonna get married one day, you know...
me: yes, i know.
bryan:...and then their wives are gonna de-flower them.
me: HUSB! really?! i really don't have to think through all of that right now.
bryan: hahaha!

i already don't like the idea of my baby boys growing up. let me just clarify that i do want them to grow up and have wonderful successful marriages. i pray that they find wifeys that can love them better and understand them better and support them better than even i can... i also just want them around as long as possible.

my husb thinks it's hilarious to tease me about it though.

he is kind of funny, but don't tell him i said that.

name change

asher: my mom! you wanna build a tunnel?
me: sure! i can help you build a tunnel. can you get your blocks?
asher: ok, mom.
me: let's build a big one so all your cars can fit through. 
asher: yeah!
me: oops! too tall! it fell over. 
asher: don't worry, my mom. i fix it. 

can you guess what the point of this post is? did you notice a slightly disturbing pattern of words being uttered from my 2 year old's mouth?


i have officially become mom. i don't even get to be mommy when he's whiny or gets hurt. nope, i'm a full-time mom these days. 

12 year olds have a mom. 2 year olds are supposed to have a mommy.

i am thankful that he throws the occasional possessive pronoun, my, in front of the word. that makes me feel like he still needs me a little bit. 

waking up daddy

me: asher, you wanna go wake daddy up?
asher: yeah! ok! chure!
me: let's go!
*we burst into the bedroom where bry is snoozing
bryan: mumble mumble grumpity humph (he's a little groggy when he first wakes up)
me: time to wake up, husb! asher can you make your car drive on daddy?
asher: buurrrmmmm car go down arm...uppa arm...on daddy's dipple...
bryan: hey! cut it out!
*bry rolls over on his belly
asher: awwww! i wanna make da car go burm on daddy's dipples!
me: yeah, dad! his car needs to go burm on your nipples!
bryan: mumble mumble grumpity humph

bry works 3rd shift. so that means he sleeps all day long then asher and i get to go wake him up around supper time. asher and i have very similar personalities in that we both are easily excitable.

waking-up-daddy-time makes us excitable.
we like to do things like jump on the bed whilst yelling "daddy!" and then try to tickle bryan into wakefulness.
we thoroughly enjoy it.

bryan, on the other hand, isn't always fond of our waking tactics.

we can't help it that we just get so excited to wake him up. it's because we love him so dang much.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

little hands

asher really loves to help. i'm sure part of that is him trying to assert his toddler independence by doing big boy things with mom and dad, but no matter the cause, it's still a quality we appreciate about our stinker. bry and i have talked a lot about trying to encourage his helpful behavior by letting him help us do things. today, he really wanted to help with the laundry.

asher: i can just help you with dis?
*he throws some dirty laundry from the hamper in the dryer where i've been throwing clean clothes.
me: oops! those don't go in there!
asher: myyy moooom, i can just help you!
me: ok, bud. here ya go. put this is there for me.
*i proceed to hand him one piece of wet clothing at a time for him to put in the dryer. 
asher: ok! here we go!
*he enjoys throwing each piece into the dryer as hard as he can.
me: great job, asher john.
*i repeat the process by letting him individually throw each article of clothing from the hamper into the washer. after we're done he says,
asher: i just help you, my mom! good job! 

i'm ashamed to say that too often i think of his sweet, helpful hands as getting in the way of my efficiency. throwing a single piece of clothing at a time into the washer and dryer is completely and totally INefficient. i would rather just get things done and checked off of my list than take the time to teach his fumbling toddler hands to help. 

shame. on. me.

may we never take for granted a single second spent with our children, no matter how inefficient it may seem.

may we all enjoy the precious, simple moments teaching them the things of life. 

may we love them with our time, in action and in truth (1 John 3:18).

here's some more inspiring blog posts on the subject:
These Hands by Jones Design Company


sometimes i have to show bry who's boss by taking him downtown to the ground in a wrestling match.

bry: what kind of move was that?!
me: husb, that was my new specialty sneak attack move that i use to take you down!
bry: ohhh, because it seemed like you had no idea what you were doing. i wasn't sure what you were trying to accomplish there with that one.
me: well, i'm still working out the kinks...
bry: hahaha!
me: husb, mark driscoll explained that i'm the weaker sex so i'm pretty sure that means i get to use sneak attack moves!
bry: yeah, i'm sure that's what he meant by that.
me: yeah. i just have to sneak attack and slap and karate chop and use all my bony parts to inflict pain.

when i said "taking him downtown to the ground" what i meant by that was becoming a flailing fury of slaps and chops and sneaky elbow drops until bry restrains me in a full nelson, i whine, he gives in and releases me and then gets attacked again when he's not paying attention.

those are pretty much the same tactics i used against my dad in the 2nd grade.

watch out UFC. you don't want none of this.

p.s.-i'm so thankful for a wonderful husb that i just love spending time with...even if my only defense against his full nelsons is high pitched whiner babying.