Thursday, April 25, 2013

superhero

asher: moooooom! maaaaaammmmmaaaaa! moooooom!
me: asher, daddy and i are talking. if i'm talking to someone else and you have something to say, you need to say excuse me and give me time to respond.
asher: ok...
*a few minutes later
asher: mooooooooom! mooooooooom!
*i ignore him
asher: oh, i mean, excuse me, mom?
me: yes, asher?
asher: did you know that x-ray vision is when you can use your eyes to see through things.
me: yeah...
asher: yep.
me: ok.

a worthy interruption indeed. he must have had superheroes on the brain because a few hours after he had gone to bed, he woke up crying and still half asleep-

me: what's wrong, bud?
asher: *crying* i just...i just...i really want to be a superhero!
me: ok, babe.
asher: it's just...i don't like it when i don't have the time to do superhero things!
me: ok, well, maybe you can be a superhero tomorrow.
asher: ok...

there's always tomorrow to hone your superhero skills, my boy.

peace

papa: where you going, gangee?!
gangee: inside to use the bathroom, papa!
papa: no! you can't go!
asher: *sigh* gangee, just go. we'll take care of papa.
gangee: haha! thanks, asher.
asher: we'll take care of papa. you go take your rest. have some peace.

sweet boy trying to hold back his papa's aggravations. good luck with that, son.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

GG's birthday

me: ok, boys. today is GG's birthday so we're going to call her and sing happy birthday.
asher: ok!
nate: ok!
*i call GG's home number
me: it's ringing now. if she doesn't answer, then we'll just leave her a message. ready?
*the machine beeps
asher, nate, and me: happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday-
nate: to yooooou!
me: to GG. we're singing to GG, nate.
nate: oh, yeah. ok, to GG.
me: happy birthday, GG! we love you!
asher: we love you, GG!
nate: we wanna eat cake wif you, GG!

any time someone in our family has a birthday, my sweet grandma calls and sings to them. the boys and i made sure to return the favor. although, and i won't name any names, some of us seem a little more excited about cake than anything else.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

store

asher: ok, mom! my store is open!
me: alright, babe!
asher: wouldn't you like to buy something?
me: of course. how much does this swing cost?
asher: um, that's 3 grass and 3 flowers.
me: ok. sounds like a fair price. why don't you ask GG on the phone if she wants to order something from your store?
asher: well, she'll just have to drive over here and buy something herself.
me: what?! you don't deliver?
asher: i can't deliver, mom. 
me: why not?
asher: because if i run away to GG's house, you guys will give me a spank!

touchĂ©, sir. 

this morning, asher gathered up all the toys outside, arranged them on the picnic table, and then opened up shop. we discovered he's a pretty shrewd business man, charging as much as 5 grass and 3 flowers for a single item. he also got some calculator practice as he added up all his earnings. apparently, if you add up enough grass and flowers you get $25. he even showed off his marketing skills in order to win over a new customer:

asher: hi, GG. don't you want to drive over here and buy something from my store? i have lots of stuff. you can buy my shark bicycle helmet. i decided i'm done with it and i'm gonna sell it. *he looks at me and whispers* i'm just pretending, mom. i'm not really gonna sell it. 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

family wrestle

*in the midst of wrestling with bryan
asher: dad, you're the goodest fighter ever!
bryan: the goodest ever?!
*he snatches off asher's pants
bryan: i'm so good i just wrestled your pants off!
asher: awwww, i want my pants back.
bryan: ok, the only reason i literally wrestled you out of your pants is because it's time to take a bath.
asher: oh, ok. let's pull all our clothes off and have a naked family wrestle!
bryan: uhhh, that's taking it a little too far, bud.
nate: yeah!
*nate drops his pants
bryan: ok, boys. it's bath time.

i assure you that we do not (nor do we intend to) participate in naked family wrestle time.

pretty

nate: what's dat, mom?
me: these are new shoes that daddy let me get for my birthday.
nate: oh, ok.
me: i have to try them on.
*i slide them on my feet.
nate: oh! you wook pwetty, mom.
me: oh, thank you, nate.
nate: yeah, you wook so pwetty!

little boys listen to the sweet things their daddies say. i'm so thankful for a husb who sets such a fine example for our boys.

dandelion

asher: i found this dandelion for you.
me: oh, thank you!
*he sniffs it
asher: it smells like the sun!
me: you think so?
*he sniffs in the direction of the sun
asher: yep. smells just the same.
me: oh, wonderful. it looks like the sun, doesn't it?
asher: yep. here ya go. put it in your flower collection.

i could have a whole collection if i kept every sweet, flowery gift that boy has given me. what a treasure he is.

Friday, April 5, 2013

boogs

asher: i want a treat.
me: uh, wait a minute. is that a booger stuck to your tooth?
asher: no...
me: have you been eating your boogers again?
asher: NO!
me: i'm pretty sure that's a booger on your tooth.
asher: no, it's not.
me: i believe you've already been eating some treats, sir.

that child cannot stop with the booger eating. i'm trying to break the habit without being too hard on him. i don't want to make him feel like he's a disgusting freak for chewing on a boog every now and again since i'm pretty sure every kid ever has tasted their own boogers at least once before, BUT it is pretty darn gross. however, he did tell us once that they taste like chocolate. i'm just saying, if his boogers taste like chocolate, can you really blame him?

ok, but seriously, how do you put a stop to the eating of the boogs?!

daddy

bryan: look at those little seals, nate.
nate: yeah! der's da daddy and da babies!
bryan: yeah. and here's some penguins.
nate: oh! wook at dat daddy and da baby!

bryan and the boys were looking at pictures of adorable arctic babies last night before bed. it seems to me that most children assume when seeing adult animals with their babies that the adult is the mama. not so with nate. he always assumes the adult animal is the daddy. which is not surprising if you know him because he is a daddy's boy through and through. of course those baby animals are hanging out with their dad. that's definitely where he would be.

tree doctor

me: oh, look, asher! this cherry tree is sprouting new tiny branches!
asher: oh, cool!
me: yep. that means it's a healthy tree. it has lots of new green branches.
asher: yeah, but what happens when it isn't healthy and doesn't have new branches? where does it go to the doctor?
me: um, well, there aren't doctors for trees, but sometimes there are some sprays you can put on them, kind of like medicine, that helps prevent bugs and mold from killing them.
asher: yeah, but why do flies and bugs and moles want to kill the trees?
me: i don't think flies and moles want to kill the trees, but some bugs like termites like to eat the wood inside the trees.
asher: yeah, but what happens if they eat the wood?
me: if they eat away too much the tree will die.
asher: oh, no. i guess we'll have to get that medicine for it then.

at the time of this conversation, i was really confused as to why asher was asking about moles killing trees. later, i realized that he misunderstood 'mold' for 'moles'. his concern makes so much more sense now.

Monday, April 1, 2013

soccer

me: here's your water, bud.
asher: thanks, mom.
me: hey, when you're kicking the ball with a partner you need to try to make sure you kick it to her.
asher: mom, i was.
me: ok, well you could try to help her by not kicking it over her head or really far away from her.
asher: yeah...
me: you know how me and daddy talk about how in this family we're for each other and not against. how we do things to help each other and not hurt. it's kind of the same thing when you're part of a team. you want to do your best to help your team. you're for your team mates, not against them.
asher: yeah, but she wasn't keeping her eye on the ball. she wasn't getting it because she wasn't doing that.
me: ok, well next time you have a partner try to help her by kicking as close to her feet as you can.

asher is playing soccer for the YMCA this season. his team got their jerseys tonight and voted on a team name. asher tried to convince his team mates that the name should be The Blue Chickens and he stuck by his recommendation by being the only team member to vote for it. in the end, The Blue Dragons won. dragons, i think, are a little more intimidating than chickens. i hope he learns a little bit about being a team player this season. about being for his team.

on the way home, as we talked about the team name and jerseys, he informed us:

asher: i hope next year we can get red shirts. then we can be the red roosters.
me: yeah, that would be a good name. maybe next year.

asher's prayer

asher: dear God, thank you for my family and everything you do. please help all the people to eat enough fiber so that their poopoo doesn't hurt their booty...and so they won't have to get medicine on their booty. just help them to eat fiber. i love you. amen.

this prayer is amusing on its own. however, if you know asher's papa, then it's hilarious. afterwards, we asked him why he prayed that and he said,

asher: i just hope people eat fiber so their booties don't hurt when they poop.

eat more fiber, people. release that boy from his burden.

marriage

asher: mom, when i grow up, i will get married with you.
me: well, you won't get married with me, but you can get married when you grow up.
asher: but why can't i marry you?
me: because i'm already married to daddy and i'm already part of your family. you can't marry girls who are already married or already in your family.
asher: oh. so i can't marry gangee either?
me: no...
asher: aunt amber?
me: nope.
asher: well, who can i marry?
me: it'll probably be a girl who is your friend and then you'll fall in love and decide to get married.
asher: but i already love you, so i'll just marry you.
me: no, you'll marry another girl. like elizabeth.
asher: nooo, mom. elizabeth is a little girl. a girl has to be big like you to get married.
me: well, by the time you're ready to marry, she'll be bigger. so will you.
asher: yeah in about this many years i'll be ready to marry.
*he holds up 10 fingers.
me: uhhh, something like that.
asher: yeah, so i guess i'll just marry elizabeth.
me: you've got time to think about it, bud. why do you want to get married?
asher: can you tell me?
me: well, why were you thinking about it?
asher: i was just laying here wondering who i was gonna get married with and i thought it was gonna be you.

sweet, sweet boy.