Wednesday, July 27, 2011

mac vs. pc

bryan: so, i think when we eventually get ready to buy a desktop computer we should get a PC.
me: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!
bryan: i'm just saying, they're a lot easier to play video games on.
me: husb, don't you know that PC stands for "probably crappy"...or maybe it's "poopy computing," i can't remember which.
bryan: wiifffffeeeeeyyyy, don't you remember when we were looking at laptops and i didn't want to get a mac, but i did because you wanted one and i love you.
me: no, we got a mac because you did some research and decided it was a good idea. then when we got it your eyes were opened to the truth and you were converted.
bryan: ok, well maybe i'm missing the old PC...
me: if you are so easily swayed to depart from us then you were never really with us, husb.
bryan: oh my gosh, are you questioning my salvation?
me: no! just your loyalty to apple...
bryan: do you still love me if i want a PC?
me: yes, of course, husb.
*dramatic pause
me: hate the sin, not the sinner...
bryan: you are ridiculous.

can't somebody help a sista out and help my silly husb see the error in his PC-loving ways?!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

pretty princess

me: do you like my dress, asher?
asher: yes, mommy! you're a princess!
me: a princess?! aww, thanks, bud.
asher: you're welcome. spin around, mommy, like a princess!
*i spin around in a circle
asher: wow...a princess...

talk about a stinker melting a mama's heart...

Sunday, July 3, 2011


asher: awww, my mom! i lost my spoon!
me: what happened to it?
asher: i was just banging daddy with it.
me: ohhh, so he took it away?
asher: yeah...i can have it back?
me: you'll have to go apologize to daddy and see if he'll give it back.
asher: awww...maybe you can go get it?


me: i think my hairdryer's in the other room...
bryan: there wasn't too much left in the upper room?
me: with skins on his back and hair on his face, they thought he was strange by the locusts he ate! you see the pharisee's tripped when they heard him speak, until the king took the head of this Jesus freeeeeaaaaakkkkkk!
bryan: let me just tell you 3 ways that i know you are skraight up skreet from that performance, baby.
me: yes?
bryan: 1) those amazing gangsta dance moves, 2) the way your voice went all ghetto deep on that last word, and 3) that awesome song choice.
me: why, thank you, husb.

you didn't know i had street cred, did you? well, now you know.

straight up street, y'all.

Friday, July 1, 2011


bryan: check out my sexy dance moves! it's like a mating dance!
me: husb. i don't know what you're trying to accomplish with those moves, but they certainly do not inspire me to mate.
bryan: wifey, it's ok. i know you're lying to prevent me from breaking out these moves all the time...
me: what?
bryan: cuz if i was always doing these moves you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from being all up on's me.
me: oh, yeah. that's it.

i wish i had a video of bryan's mating dance to show y'all. i simply can't describe it with mere words. however, if i did have the good fortune of capturing such glorious moves on video, i'm afraid i wouldn't be able to share it with the world. i wouldn't want to be responsible for causing millions of unsuspecting women to stumble into sin by swooning over my too hot to handle husb.

sorry, ladies. he, along with his ridiculous dancing, is all mine.


me: i get around, round, round, round, i get aaarrroooooouuunnd... i feel like i'm gonna have that song stuck in my head all night...
bryan: no you're not because we're gonna watch lord of the rings and then you'll be distracted.
me: (in a very enya-ish voice) may it beeee an evening staaaar shines brightlyyyy on yooooouuuu...
bryan: what was that?
me: husb! the lord of the rings song! duh. enya? don't you remember?
bryan: kind of, but i don't remember it well enough to know the words.
me: huuuuusb! well, tonight you're gonna hear it and think, "dang, my wifey was right on! she sounded even better than enya!"
bryan: what if i already think you sing better than enya? there! stick that up your butt!
me: mmm, thank you, husb.

after reading the hobbit and the fellowship of the ring this past week, i really wanted to watch the 1st LOTR movie. it's the first time i've ever read the books and i'm enjoying them so much that i can't figure out why it's taken me so long to get around to it. although i love the movies already, i'm excited to watch the 1st one tonight (extended edition-yahoo! thanks for the loan, deana!) because i think not only will i understand it a lot better, but also enjoy it much more having finally read the book.

SO go read you some LOTR. they're lovely.

so lovely, in fact, that i need someone to make a theme park like Harry Potter World except it can be all of Middle Earth. i would really love to visit the shire.

 why has no one done this yet?

why am i so nerdy?