*as we're driving in the car
asher: mama, i'm a big brave boy and i never give up!
me: yes, you are. that's a wonderful attitude!
*later during a quiet moment, i start to sing
me: Jesus loves me, this i know...
asher: mom, Jesus lets us be brave and never give up!
me: yes, asher, that's exactly what He does! how does He do that?
asher: well, cuz we can love each other and not be ugly.
me: yes, He taught us how to love each other and how to love and know God so that we can all live well together and worship Him!
me: how did He do that? do you remember how Jesus was born on earth, but He was still God's Son? and how He taught us all those things about love and about God while He was here? He helped us understand so much about God and and each other and the whole Bible.
me: but a lot of people thought He was lying and they hated Him, so they crucified Him and He died. and then what happened?
asher: they put that big, huge stone in front of the tune!
me: yes, they put Him in the tomb to bury Him. because he was dead and we bury dead people, but then what happened? after 3 days?
asher: HE WAS ALIVE!
me: YES! God brought His Son back to life! and that's why, if we believe in Jesus and all that He did and said and was, then we can be brave and never give up! because even though we're stinky sinners and that makes life hard, He made a way for us to know and love God and love each other.
asher: yeah, and be brave.
me: the bravest. we don't anything to be scared of in Jesus. not even death!
asher: yeah. mom?
asher: big boys are brave and sometimes they poot!
let me just go ahead and say that this sweet (minus the poot talk at the end) conversation happened in the car yesterday morning and by yesterday afternoon asher had apparently forgotten all about it. he was ugly and defiant. he was stomping and spitting. he was the stinkiest of sinners. which, in turn, made me want to stomp and spit and yell back and pour all my stinky sin out too. i was utterly frustrated. however, my son is not yet a believer in Christ. despite our prayers and attempts to guide him as best we can to Jesus, sin still reigns supreme in his life.
which brings me to my point. asher is not a believer, but i am. no matter how frustrated i get with his behavior, i am responsible to discipline with grace, love, and self-control. i'm thankful for conversations like the one above not only because they may eventually point my son to Christ, but also because i need to hear the gospel every day too. i need to be reminded that in Christ, even when i feel like losing it and spewing stinky sin all over the place, Jesus has given me every reason to be brave and never give up.