me: asher john, you need a haircut.
asher: yeah, cause my hair is getting fuzzy. *sigh* jus like a girwl's hair.
me: do girls have fuzzy hair?
asher: yes. you have very fuzzy hair, mama. cause you're a girwl.
me: oh, well, i guess if your hair is getting all fuzzy like a girl's then we should definitely cut it.
certainly can't have my firstborn looking like a fuzzy-headed girl.