asher: mom, what's on your legs?
me: those are called tights, bud.
asher: is it paint?
me: nope. they're a piece of clothing.
asher: if i touch it will it get on me?
me: no, babe. it's not paint. you can touch them.
asher: wow, they're soft.
me: yep. they help keep my legs warm.
asher: so they're like pants?
me: kind of. except i have to wear a skirt or dress over them.
asher: *cups his hand and whispers* so people can't see your privates.
asher: well, i think the other ladies at church are going to like those tights.
me: thanks, asher.
sweet boy. takes after his daddy.