asher: i think i have to poop! well, no i think i can hold it...
me: asher! just go poop! that's the second time you've said you had to and then decided to hold it.
asher: ugh. i hate pooping. it's so boring.
me: asher, it's a necessary part of life. just do it.
asher: what happens if i don't?
me: your poop backs up in you and you go into septic shock and we take you to the hospital so they can pump it out of you!
asher: pump it out? with what?
me: a tube. right in your b-hole.
me: i know. so go poop.
that is what happens when you don't poop, right? also, i am laughing so hard at the word b-hole. kudos to bry for making that part of our family vernacular.