Spilled Tea and Stone Words

"NATE!"
I growled his name like an ugly curse word. I threw it at him like a stone. The shame was hanging on his face and cowering his form before I spoke and still I took aim and fired. My word hit its mark and the guilt spilled out of him. "I'm sorwy, Mama," he cried. "I just wanted a dwink of tea and I spilled it on everwything and I wuined ouwr pawrty! I wuined everwything! I'm sorwy!"

I took in my breath wishing I could take back the exasperated outburst that I had allowed to burst forth. It was my turn. My guilt spilled out of me. I sang his name sweetly. I turned the stone into a song trying to soothe his hurt. "Oh, Nate. Oh, Nater. It's ok, darling. It was an accident. Mommy spoke too harshly. You didn't deserve that. Will you forgive me?"

Still he murmured and cried his 3 year old apologies. "I'm sorwy. I'm weally sorwy." I stripped him of his cold, tea stained clothes and still he cried. I covered him in warm, clean pajamas and still he cried. I made towels heavy from sopping up the spilled wet and still he cried.

For long minutes the tears flowed until I pulled my boy up into my lap and wrapped him in my arms, in my love and assurance. "I forgive you, Nate. It's all cleaned up. You didn't ruin anything, baby." I wanted him to know that he had never ruined anything for me. His sweet, small person had only made things better, more worthwhile. He snuggled close under my chin and hiccuped his last tears away.

I kissed that soft head and prayed that God would forgive my impatience. That He would gift me grace for my children even in the midst of their childish mistakes-especially in the midst of their childish mistakes. That He would help me see them as He sees me. Still learning, still growing, still longing to be assured of the unconditional love that comes with unconditional grace. That He would teach me to rejoice over them with song instead of pelting them with stones.

Because Mama makes mistakes too. She needs grace just as often as her little ones, probably even more. Quite frankly, Mama should know better. She should have learned by now that carelessly thrown stone words make much bigger messes than a little bit of spilled sweet tea.

what we've been talking about lately

asher: didn't you just go to the doctor? why do you have to go to the doctor so much? are you really sick?
me: no, bud. i have to keep going to the doctor because i've got a tiny little baby in my belly.
asher: WHAT?! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY?!?!
me: yep. next summer.
asher: NATE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY BROTHER! wait, will it be a brother or a sister?
me: we won't find that out for a while. which do you hope it is?
asher: a sister! because we don't have one of those…except then we'd have to buy dolls and stuff and i don't like dolls so, a brother! NATE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BROTHER AND THEN WE CAN WRESTLE HIM!
me: well, you'll have to wait a while to wrestle him, babe.
asher: ohhhh, ok. Nate we'll have to wait a few days, but then we can wrestle him!
nate: let me see it.
me: you can't see the baby yet, bud.
nate: but i need to find it.
me: why do you need to find it?
nate: because it's a baby and babies need mommies. i have to find it so i can find its mommy.
me: well, i'll be its mommy, babe.
nate: NO! you're asher and nate's mommy!
me: well, now i am asher, nate and the new baby's mommy.
nate: well, let me just find it.
*he lifts up my shirt.
me: soon my belly will start getting bigger and then you'll be able to tell, but we won't get to meet the baby until next summer.
nate: hmmm, ok.

we are so excited and thankful to be adding another member to the mcclelland clan in july 2014.

sore

nate: what's dat, mom? you got a burger.
me: no, it's not a booger, bud. it's a boo boo.
nate: how did you get a boo boo?
me: i just did.
nate: but hooooow?
*he touches it and says sympathetically
nate: asher did it, huh?
me: what? no, asher didn't do it, silly!
nate: come on! tell me how!
me: well, my nose got sick and then it left a sore there.
nate: ohhhhh. so daddy has to take you to the hospital.
me: no, i won't have to go to the hospital.
nate: but your nose is sick.
me: yeah, but i already have some medicine for it so it will get better soon.

i have cold sore on my nose. naturally, asher did it. also, somebody call an ambulance. AND my sweet little stinker who loves to be rough and rowdy is also sympathetic, considerate, and very concerned about my burger.

pumpkins

me: ok, boys! i've got the pumpkins cut in half now i need your help. can y'all take these spoons and scoop out all the insides and seeds. you can put them in this bowl.
asher: uhhh, i'm thinking this is kind of a yucky job.
me: yeah, it is, but it's worth it because when we're done we'll get to cook the pumpkin AND the seeds!
asher: yeah, but can i just do a different job? this one is gross.
me: ok, well, nate can you be my scooper?
nate: YEAH!!!
me: ok, but you have to put the seeds in the bowl, not throw them across the dining room.

asher wouldn't try the yucky job of pumpkin cleaning at all. nate got so involved that pumpkin seeds and guts were flying across the dining room. i'm not sure why i thought this would be an fun family activity...

mom life

bryan: your hair looks really pretty today, wifey.
me: thanks! i dried it today!
bryan: haha!
me: oh! and i washed it too!

tis a rare occasion when my hair is both washed and blown dry. it's sweet of the husb to notice when i make the extra effort to do both.

wake up call

nate: mooooom! is it time to wake up?
me: nooooooo.
nate: but it's 6 clockin' hours, mom!
me: huh?
nate: i said it's 6 clockin' hours!
me: ok. wake me up at 7 clockin' hours.
* he flops around on top of me for a few minutes
nate: mom! i fink it's time to get up!
me: nooooo.
nate: but it's 11 10 hours.
me: wake me up in a few more.
nate: MOM! it is 7 hours and dat means it's time to wake up.

this conversation went back and forth for about 100 clockin' hours until i finally got up with that cute little stinker.

mittens

bry: are you pulling chicken out of that old soup for mittens?
me: yes, i am.
bry: well, that is ridiculous.
me: husb, wooing untamed animals can be a tedious business.
bry: and it is the passion of your heart. you know that if you keep feeding that cat then eventually you're going to stop seeing those bunnies hop out of the bushes...
me: husb, the plan is to woo mittens all the way inside. then we can sit at the window and watch the bunnies together.
bry: oh boy.
me: i was worried about that kitty getting too cold last night.
bry: elise. it's an animal with fur. it can endure the cold.
me: i considered leaving a box with some old towels on the porch...
bry: oh, yeah? why don't you just leave the garage open?
me: well, i thought about that too, but then i didn't want any other critters getting in.
bry: oh my gosh.

we have a stray cat that slinks around our yard. i feed it leftovers in hopes that i can win it over. so far it just stares at me through the window and then darts away. slow progress. we've already named it though so i feel like we're going places with that cat. it's meant to be.

sardines

asher: mom? why did that man say that the sardines have no escape?
me: well, because between the dolphins and the sharks and the birds, they can't get away.
asher: but why can't they get away?
me: because they're going to be eaten.
*he hides his face and burst into tears
me: what's wrong, bud?
asher: I DON'T WANT THE DOLPHINS TO EAT THE SARDINES!
me: oh, darling. i know that's hard to think about. it makes me sad to think about animals being killed sometimes too. but if the dolphins didn't eat the fish, then the dolphins would die.
asher: BUT WHY CAN'T THE DOLPHINS JUST EAT SEAWEED?!?!
me: hmm, that's a good question. did you know that some people believe that before adam and eve sinned that no animals killed others for food? everything ate plants and fruits. so maybe when Jesus comes back and makes all things new and good again, dolphins will eat seaweed.
asher: WHY ISN'T JESUS HERE YET?!
me: well, no one knows, bud. what we do know is that God knows the perfect time for Jesus to come back and so we can trust in Him for the right timing.
asher: BUT I WISH ADAM AND EVE DIDN'T SIN SO THE SARDINES COULD LIVE! I JUST LOVE THOSE SARDINES AND I NEED THEM NOT TO DIIIIIIIIIE!
me: i know, bud. i wish adam and eve didn't sin so we didn't have to worry about sin or death at all, but that makes us want Jesus and love Him even more knowing that God fixed our sin problem when Jesus was here the first time. AND it gives us so much to be excited about and hope for when He comes back again.
asher: yeah...i need to go pray right now. i need to go talk to God about those sardines.
me: ok, bud.
*he walks into his bedroom.

who knew that watching a show about the ocean would generate an opportunity to share the gospel? praying that asher's sweet heart, compassion, and prayers for the salvation of sardines would one day mature into a passion for sharing the gospel with human beings.

love that boy.

brain food

bryan: asher, would like milk or juice to drink?
asher: i'll take the brain food. milk, please.
me: where did you learn that? 
asher: in class, mom. we were learning about our bodies and the teacher told us milk was good for our brains. SO, i'll have the brain food.

yay for homeschool co-op!

family pictures

me: husb! look at all these beautiful pictures!
bry: they are really good.
me: how did she get so many when our tot was so grumpy?
bry: i don't know. she did a good job. look at that one. it looks like nate and i are having a tender moment, but i'm pretty sure i'm having a "talk" with him because he was screaming and refusing to take any more pictures.
me: haha! it looks real sweet though.

my sweet husb had many a "talk" with our little nater on picture day. it went something like this,

bry: nate, you're part of this family and you need to be in these pictures.
nate: NOOOOOOOOO, I'MMMMMM NOOOOOOOT!!!!
bry: well, you're going to be because this is really important to your mother.
me: daddy doesn't like getting dressed up and taking pictures either, tot, but he's doing a really good job.
nate: NOOOOOOOOO! *runs away screeching*

and, yet, michele wallace managed to capture such sweet shots. miraculous.