me: ok, asher, i need you to go potty and then it's time to take a nap.
*he swings his toy mack truck and hits me in the head. he didn't mean to hit me, he was just swinging his truck in defiance and i was sitting closer than he realized. whether he meant to or not, it was not ok.
me: asher john!
*he starts crying because he knows what's coming
me: you cannot hit when you don't get your way. i have to spank you now. do you know why you're getting a spank?
*through tears and with the saddest voice in the world he says,
asher: yes, because i hit mommy.
me: yes, that's right. i cannot allow you to hit others. do you know why? because you're mine and i love you too much. i need you to learn to love others.
*he gets a hard spank and then i hold him while he cries
me: asher, i love you. can you kiss my head where you hit and make it better?
*he kisses my forehead with a slobbery, wet kiss.
me: thank you, sweet boy. that's loving. i forgive you for hitting.
asher: you're welcome.
me: ok, let's go potty and get ready for nap.
asher: but i want to pway.
me: you can play when you wake up. now it's time to rest.
asher: BUT I WANT TO PWAY!
me: i understand you want to play, but we all need to rest sometimes. it's your turn to rest now. if you can't obey, then i'm going to have to spank again and i don't want to do that.
*he goes to the potty and then i tuck him in the bed for his nap
me: sleep tight, bud. i love you so much. i am so glad you're mine. you're my favorite big boy.
asher: wove you, mom.
*as i turn to leave, asher sits up and says,
asher: and i will never hit ofers again, mom.
me: hey, dude, i love you no matter what, but i'm glad you're going to try not to hit others anymore.
i know that asher will hit again. he won't love others the way he should. his anger will get the best of him and he'll hit, or kick, or shove, or yell. if bryan and/or i am around, he will always be disciplined for those actions.
because God has given him to us to raise well.
because we love him too much to let him be a brat.
because loving others is second only to loving God.
let me just do a mini-confession here real quick:
the #1 rule of disciplinary spanking is don't do it when you're angry. getting hit in the head with a toy truck made me angry. it hurt and i was mad at asher for doing it. between me yelling, "asher john!" and him crying, "nooooo!" i had to take deep breaths and count a few numbers slowly. however, as soon as i saw asher's tears and realized he knew he had messed up, the Lord melted my anger and pride. thankfully, the Lord has been teaching me a lot about discipline and parenting lately. He's been teaching me how my son and i share the same curse of sin. He's been imploring me to show my son the same grace and mercy and love and discipline that He shows me when i am defiant in my own sin.
praise the Lord that He disciplines His children well because we are His and He loves us too much to let us stay the way we are.