rap star

me: what are you doing with the cat toy, asher?

asher: it's a lasso, mom.

me: oh. it looks more like a whip, i think.

asher: no, mom, it's a lasso. see? 

* he throws it at a tree branch and the string wraps around. 

me: ohhh, ok. 

asher: i'm a cowboy with a lasso. 

me: i see that now. cool, dude.

*much to my surprise and pleasure, he starts rapping

asher: i'm a cowboy with my lasso. i'm bringing things to tha ground cuz my lasso's jus ra ra ra wrapping around. i'm gonna lasso a cat and bring it downtown to tha ground. i'm gonna lasso a cow and bring it downtown to tha ground. i'm a cowboy with a lasso and it's ra ra ra wrapping around and bringing things to tha ground! 

me: wow. excellent. 

i promise you, i am not making this up. i know you're really impressed, but he won't be giving autographs until he can sign the letters of his name in the right order, so contain yo'self. i hope he's one of those sweet rap stars who takes his mom with him as his date to the award shows. i'll say really embarrassing stuff during his red carpet interviews like, "yeah, when he spit his first rhyme about lassoing a cat, i knew he was going places in this business."