Friday, April 8, 2011

confession #6: why we're straight up crazy parents

1. we're seriously considering homeschooling
not because i want my kids to live in a christian-bubble-pseudo reality, but because i want to have the chance to build a firm foundation before i thrust them into the hard-knock public school system. i want them to be confident and capable of making their own decisions without being swayed by the public opinion. i want them to spend the majority of their time in a loving, encouraging, and secure environment and to not have to worry about keeping up with everyone else. i want them to have some idea of who they are and who they want to become before a bazillion different people are telling them a bazillion different things they have to say and do to be "cool." i've heard horror stories of kids having sex in the 5th grade, of lesbianism being the cool thing to do in middle school, and of a first grader bringing a condom to school and explaining what it is used for. don't get me wrong, i totally understand that homeschooling won't make my children's lives problem-free and easy breezy and i don't want them to be sheltered, anti-social mama's boys, but i believe (and have seen) that homeschooling can be done effectively and non-awkward-children-producingly. so scoff if you want, but we're considering giving it a try.

2. our kids will never have cable TV access or computers in their bedrooms
thus far in our lives, the Lord has blessed us with two sweet, baby boys who will eventually become two, maturing teenage boys.

and teenage boys like to look at naked girls.

and pornography is way too easily accessible and way too dangerous.

therefore, as long as they're living under our roof, they will never have a computer or cable tv in their room. they just won't. end of discussion. i don't care how responsible and innocent they may seem, easy-eye access to sex and naked girls is just too much of a temptation for most teenage boys to resist (and latest statistics show this applies to girls now too.) their future wives can thank me later.

3. we won't teach our kids that santa claus is a real person
why do people get so worked up about this issue? some people get really upset when we tell them this. i mean, it's not like we've decided to lie to our kids and teach them that a fictional character is real so that we can use him to manipulate their behavior thus teaching them to live a works-based lifestyle so that if they're "good" by a certain fictional character's standards then they get rewarded for it...oh, wait. and what about the kids whose parents can't afford tons of presents? does that teach them it's because they're perpetually naughty? a professor at NGU once told us that when he found out his parents had been lying to him about santa claus that it shook the foundations of his faith in Christ as well. if his parents were lying to him about that, then why should he believe the stories about God that they had told him? that's pretty much when we decided that believing in santa wasn't really worth it. the issue isn't that we want to stifle their imagination, but that we don't want to outright lie to them. we don't mind if our kids enjoy watching santa movies and reading santa books, but we refuse to play the santa's-really-watching-you game. please don't try to make us feel like we are ruining their childhood. there are other ways to encourage an awesome imagination. i promise we won't condition them to break the news of santa's fictionality to every kid they meet. this is a interesting article by mark driscoll on the subject.

4. they won't have a cell phone until they are driving
call me crazy, but why do 8 year olds need cell phones? i am terribly confused as to why your young child would be in a situation where there's not an adult around with access to a phone in case they need to get in touch with you. when they're old enough to drive by themselves and they may need a cell in case of an emergency, then they can have one. go ahead, i already gave you permission to call me crazy.

5. we will discipline 
please, parents, take the time and effort to discipline your children. do it for their sake. no one wants to be around a bratty, spoiled, gotta-have-my-way-or-i'll-pitch-a-fit whiner baby. i certainly don't want to have to endure them and i don't want my kids picking up any of their bad habits. teach your kids right from wrong. i understand that kids have little rebellious sinner's hearts just like the rest of us and sometimes they are disobedient and selfish no matter how well-disciplined they are, but sometimes they are brats because their parents just won't get them under control. we have decided to dare to discipline our children (thanks, dr. dobson, for that catchy phrase) no matter how difficult or tedious or repetitive it may be, it's worth it for us and them in the long run.

i told you, we are straight up crazy parents...

and we're decidedly ok with that.


  1. LOVE this! you guys are straight up AWESOME parents. We have ALL of the same beliefs and hopefully will someday get to parent the same way!

  2. I think you are both awesome parents and will grow happy and responsible adults from those sweet baby boys!

  3. i totally agree with everything you said!!! we plan on doing the same things (except for maybe homeschooling....but the thought has crossed my mind) all those things you said about kids in public true!!! see it all the time!!!! some pretty dirty things can come out of a first graders mouth!!! i think y'all are fantastic parents!!!!

  4. We must be crazy parents too because I could copy this and paste it on my blog as my own (Don't worrry I'm not.) We totally agree with you so you are not alone.

  5. LOVE THIS!!! We totally agree with everything and we are planing on homeschooling and we don't even have cable in the living room much less our kids rooms :) Love you sweet girl!