asher spazes out sometimes. you can see it coming. he gets that crazy look in his eye and starts shaking with excitement. all of his energy just builds and builds and then he's just gotta get it out. i've been told he takes after a certain someone who also enjoyed partaking in spastic episodes. sometimes i look at him when he's shaking with so much excitement and just can't contain himself and i think, "i remember that feeling!" sometimes i still get that way. usually if there's a tiny, adorable, furry animal around that just neeeeeeds to be squeezed...or a sweet, new baby that's ripe for the cuddling...
anyway, bryan told me that this happened this morning while i was out yardsaleing.
*asher stands up on the couch beside bryan. he's looking a little spastic...
bryan: asher, you better not jump on the couch!
*asher slumps back down beside bryan and lets out a disappointed
asher: aaaaaaaawwwwwwwww...
nowadays, whenever asher gets in trouble or told not to do something his response is ALWAYS, "awwwww..." it's so dang cute it almost makes you want to retract your rebuke.
almost.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
a day in the life
asher: i want some cooooooookies!
me: we don't have any cookies right now.
asher: coooookies, mama! cookies!
me: we don't have any, bud. how bout some graham crackers?
asher: nooooo! no want gwaham cwackers! how bout cookies?
me: ok, if you don't want graham crackers then you can't have anything because that's all we have right now.
*pause
asher: i want some gwaaaaaaaham cwaaaaaaaackers!!!
this conversation happens about 23489739756 times a day.
me: we don't have any cookies right now.
asher: coooookies, mama! cookies!
me: we don't have any, bud. how bout some graham crackers?
asher: nooooo! no want gwaham cwackers! how bout cookies?
me: ok, if you don't want graham crackers then you can't have anything because that's all we have right now.
*pause
asher: i want some gwaaaaaaaham cwaaaaaaaackers!!!
this conversation happens about 23489739756 times a day.
mamadaddy
bryan: family tickle!!!
me: yeahhhhh!
*we both tickle asher
asher: noooooo! stop it, mamadaddy!
*laughs hyserically
asher does this thing where he tries to be really grumpy and pretend like something's not funny, but he also can't help himself from laughing hysterically.
and i'm like, "whatever, dude. it's funny."
and he's like, "i know, mom. i'm just trying to maintain my cool guy exterior."
and i'm like, "what cool guy exterior? you're only two."
and he's like, "exactly."
and i'm like, "what?"
ok, so none of that last part really happened.
anyway, i was trying to write this post so that i could discuss how when bryan and i are together asher refers to us as "mamadaddy." we're one unit in his little, toddler head.
and i love it. because i mean, biblically speaking, we are one and all. even the little stinker is wise enough to observe that.
late night stinker
so after getting asher and nate to bed, (can i just say that it's tough having 2 little ones in the same room? i never know when one is going to wake the other. it forces me to be the lightest sleeper of any one who's ever slept. no, seriously. anyone. ever.) i came out and was trying to get some things tidied up before bed. it makes me feel better if things are picked up and neat before i go to bed because then i can wake up to a relatively clean house (the only time my house is relatively neat is when asher's asleep)...(have i overwhelmed you with too many parenthetical statements yet? what has it been so far? like 4038247? have i mentioned that i'm fond of number exaggeration?) ok, so where were we? oh yeah, so i come out of their room and as i'm cleaning up the kitchen i hear this:
bryan: asher? what are you doing awake, bud?
asher: i just come sit on couch wit you, daddy.
me: he's awake?!
bryan: yep.
*i come into the living room
asher: hey, mama. i jus need to see you for jus a minute.
me: it's time for bed, bud.
asher: i wanna watch word world.
me: no, we have to go back to bed.
asher: i needa play twucks.
me: nope. we can't play trucks right now.
asher: i wanna see you for jus onnnnnnne second.
me: ok, just one second...but then it's time for bed.
after i came back from putting asher to bed a second time, bryan smiled and said, "you know, one day we're going to miss stuff like this."
he's probably right. the stinker was looking pretty cute with his sleepy eyes and bed head and a little toy truck tucked up under each arm. did i mention he had a truck under each arm? that makes this whole transaction cuter, doesn't it? now go back a read it and imagine him having a truck under each arm...cuter, huh?
i'm sorry. i keep getting distracted from the point...which is:
my babies are growing up too fast already. the husb is right. i'm gonna miss these sweet times when all my stinker wants to do is spend time with his mamadaddy.
even if it's for just one second.
bryan: asher? what are you doing awake, bud?
asher: i just come sit on couch wit you, daddy.
me: he's awake?!
bryan: yep.
*i come into the living room
asher: hey, mama. i jus need to see you for jus a minute.
me: it's time for bed, bud.
asher: i wanna watch word world.
me: no, we have to go back to bed.
asher: i needa play twucks.
me: nope. we can't play trucks right now.
asher: i wanna see you for jus onnnnnnne second.
me: ok, just one second...but then it's time for bed.
after i came back from putting asher to bed a second time, bryan smiled and said, "you know, one day we're going to miss stuff like this."
he's probably right. the stinker was looking pretty cute with his sleepy eyes and bed head and a little toy truck tucked up under each arm. did i mention he had a truck under each arm? that makes this whole transaction cuter, doesn't it? now go back a read it and imagine him having a truck under each arm...cuter, huh?
i'm sorry. i keep getting distracted from the point...which is:
my babies are growing up too fast already. the husb is right. i'm gonna miss these sweet times when all my stinker wants to do is spend time with his mamadaddy.
even if it's for just one second.
Monday, April 25, 2011
spring has sprung!
me: look, asher! there's a birdie in a nest in this tree!
asher: yeah.
me: do you see her in her nest?
asher: yeah, mama. dat birdie make a mess.
my most favorite thing about spring is baby animals. i just love that we're going to have some tiny, baby birdies right outside of our door this spring!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
and some 'nother Jesus
me: did you make this cross today at church, asher?
asher: yeah, i make a cwoss.me: what's on here? (he got to put different stickers on the cross)
asher: der's a camel and some twees and der's Jesus...and some 'nother Jesus.
i think the nother Jesus is supposed to be a disciple, but he has a beard and brown hair too so i can see where it could get confusing. let me just clarify that the sticker of Jesus is Him in a white robe and shining in all His resurrected glory. it's not one of Him actually hanging on the cross. i'm not sure why there's trees and a camel. i guess because those are Bible things too? apparently the stinker got a little too rough with the camel because he's missing a leg.
Later we were talking about what he learned in church...
me: did you learn about Jesus at church today?
asher: yep
me: and the cross?
asher: yes, and the cwoss.
me: and how Jesus died on the cross, but then God brought Him back to life so He's not dead anymore!
asher: yep. now he's not in bed anymore.
it's fun talking about the Resurrection with a 2 year old.
confession #8: i love harry potter...and Jesus
bryan and i really love harry potter. in fact, we spent a big chunk of our honeymoon reading harry potter out loud to each other. it was lovely. i know a lot of christians don't like harry potter because of the witchcraft and wizardry part, but most of the ones that i hear say that have never actually read a single page of the books so i can't help but not take their uneducated opinion very seriously. the main reason i like harry potter is not because it makes me want to be a witch when i grow up, but because the overarching theme of these books is the battle of good versus evil. when i think of harry potter my first thought isn't one of sorcery, but of sacrifice. so many good, noble characters risk their lives, their families, and everything they know to try to fight the good fight against the evil that is steadily taking over their world. in some of the books, it seems like all hope is lost. it looks like good doesn't stand a chance against the ever-present and ever-growing evil. in the end, the characters' sacrifices are worth it because good kicks evil's booty in an epic last battle that brings tears to one's harry-potter-reading eyes.
good wins.
whether we realize it or not, i think this is the reason so many of us love good ol' HP. we long for good to kick some booty. we want to know that it's worth the fight. we want to believe that in the end our sacrifices to make things better meant something. we need to know that despite how things may seem and no matter how strong of a foothold evil seems to have, it will be defeated eventually.
i think the reason that some people have a problem with believing in God is because most of the time, it seems like evil has won in our world. if God is really good, if He is who He claims to be, then why do such bad, awful things still happen?
what those people need to understand is that we are still living in the midst of a beautiful, ongoing story where evil seems to be the victor, but PRAISE GOD that as the author of this story He has already let us know how it's really going to end.
He has assured us that our sacrifices do indeed mean something.
He has encouraged us to continue to fight the good fight.
He has promised us that Good wins.
because of the death and resurrection of JESUS CHRIST, we have absolutely nothing to fear when making these sacrifices while fighting this fight because CHRIST has conquered death once and for all. if we die while fighting for the good of CHRIST, then we gain life eternally and never really taste death at all. THANK OUR SAVIOR that because of His sacrifice the world and all it's evil has been conquered. PRAISE THE LORD that because of His beautiful resurrection, CHRIST will be returning to kick evil's booty one final epic time and every single sorrow and hardship and nasty evil thing will be vanquished and wiped away from this earth.
let us not forget that the battle is not over, even though the war was won when CHRIST died and rose again. let us not forget that we are still in the midst of our story and even when it seems like evil has won we will continue to sacrifice, we will continue to fight, we will continue to hope because we know in the end, because of our sweet SAVIOR and all that He is and all that He did and all the He does and all that He will do-
GOOD WINS.
good wins.
whether we realize it or not, i think this is the reason so many of us love good ol' HP. we long for good to kick some booty. we want to know that it's worth the fight. we want to believe that in the end our sacrifices to make things better meant something. we need to know that despite how things may seem and no matter how strong of a foothold evil seems to have, it will be defeated eventually.
i think the reason that some people have a problem with believing in God is because most of the time, it seems like evil has won in our world. if God is really good, if He is who He claims to be, then why do such bad, awful things still happen?
what those people need to understand is that we are still living in the midst of a beautiful, ongoing story where evil seems to be the victor, but PRAISE GOD that as the author of this story He has already let us know how it's really going to end.
He has assured us that our sacrifices do indeed mean something.
He has encouraged us to continue to fight the good fight.
He has promised us that Good wins.
because of the death and resurrection of JESUS CHRIST, we have absolutely nothing to fear when making these sacrifices while fighting this fight because CHRIST has conquered death once and for all. if we die while fighting for the good of CHRIST, then we gain life eternally and never really taste death at all. THANK OUR SAVIOR that because of His sacrifice the world and all it's evil has been conquered. PRAISE THE LORD that because of His beautiful resurrection, CHRIST will be returning to kick evil's booty one final epic time and every single sorrow and hardship and nasty evil thing will be vanquished and wiped away from this earth.
let us not forget that the battle is not over, even though the war was won when CHRIST died and rose again. let us not forget that we are still in the midst of our story and even when it seems like evil has won we will continue to sacrifice, we will continue to fight, we will continue to hope because we know in the end, because of our sweet SAVIOR and all that He is and all that He did and all the He does and all that He will do-
GOOD WINS.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
quick update on the big boy pottying
i'll sit down this weekend and write a real blog about the entire potty experience, but until then here's a synopsis. potty training experience thus far:
scary
i was terrified to get started. i was really terrified to leave my stinker in plain undawears (that's right i said undawears) with no padding or absorbency whatsoever. then i was scared that i would have pee and maybe even poop on every surface of my house. so i bought some puppy pee pads and spread them out on the couch. it helped a lot. i highly recommend purchasing a big ol' pack of the pee pads. we call them "big boy sheets" so that he'll want to sit on them. despite my fears, i do not have pee or poop on every surface. most of the accidents have happened on the pee pads and i just scooped them up and tossed them in the trash. a few have happened in the carpet, but i just cleaned it up. i've washed his undawears a lot since yesterday morning. i'm glad i bought a ton of them. it has not been scary at all since we actually started.
frustrating
i feel like i've said, "let mommy know when you need to go peepee in the big boy potty" and, "peepee goes in the potty, not in big boy underwear" about 598q3749756428p8349750 times (so many times that i had to use lower case letters to describe it.) it's frustrating after saying it that many times and he still has accidents. he did not use the potty a single time yesterday. and then despite making him sit on the potty twice before bed, he peed in the bed a few minutes after i laid him down. frustrating. however, i keep reminding myself that this is tough for him too. he's having to make a whole new brain to body connection. he's never had to think about what it feels like to go pee before so why should he just know how to do it? that's why it's called training, i believe. i'm helping him train his little body to use the potty (it makes me feel better about it if i rhyme.) just so you know, no matter how frustrated i have gotten, i have not said a single negative thing to him this entire time. i haven't yelled or huffed or puffed or rolled my eyes. i've never said, "NO" or "BAD." i just keep gently reminding him that peepee goes in the potty. and i think that's helped both of us tremendously.
oh, and he peed in the potty THREE times with only two accidents this morning. that's a winning record so far, people.
fun
wait a minute. was that a typo?? no, it was not. part of this process requires you to be with your child every moment he's awake. it's been so much fun to get to play with asher and pay this much attention to him. we make up fun potty songs and do excited potty dances. he helps me check his undawears to make sure they're still dry and we jump and shout and waaaahooooooo when they are. i'm so, so stinkin' proud of my stinker for trying so hard to use the big boy potty. like i said, this is a whole new world for him and he is adjusting so well. it's fun to see him succeed. it's fun to see how happy he is when he makes it to the potty. it's fun to know i'm helping him. it's fun to see his little undaweared booty running around the house. it's fun to just be with him. even if he pees in my lap.
ok, so he hasn't peed in my lap yet, BUT he did pee on bryan because he forgot to hold his diddle down so his peepee would go in the potty. i think we've mastered the diddle down position now though.
in conclusion, potty training is not as bad as i thought it would be...so far. did i mention he hasn't pooped yet?
scary
i was terrified to get started. i was really terrified to leave my stinker in plain undawears (that's right i said undawears) with no padding or absorbency whatsoever. then i was scared that i would have pee and maybe even poop on every surface of my house. so i bought some puppy pee pads and spread them out on the couch. it helped a lot. i highly recommend purchasing a big ol' pack of the pee pads. we call them "big boy sheets" so that he'll want to sit on them. despite my fears, i do not have pee or poop on every surface. most of the accidents have happened on the pee pads and i just scooped them up and tossed them in the trash. a few have happened in the carpet, but i just cleaned it up. i've washed his undawears a lot since yesterday morning. i'm glad i bought a ton of them. it has not been scary at all since we actually started.
frustrating
i feel like i've said, "let mommy know when you need to go peepee in the big boy potty" and, "peepee goes in the potty, not in big boy underwear" about 598q3749756428p8349750 times (so many times that i had to use lower case letters to describe it.) it's frustrating after saying it that many times and he still has accidents. he did not use the potty a single time yesterday. and then despite making him sit on the potty twice before bed, he peed in the bed a few minutes after i laid him down. frustrating. however, i keep reminding myself that this is tough for him too. he's having to make a whole new brain to body connection. he's never had to think about what it feels like to go pee before so why should he just know how to do it? that's why it's called training, i believe. i'm helping him train his little body to use the potty (it makes me feel better about it if i rhyme.) just so you know, no matter how frustrated i have gotten, i have not said a single negative thing to him this entire time. i haven't yelled or huffed or puffed or rolled my eyes. i've never said, "NO" or "BAD." i just keep gently reminding him that peepee goes in the potty. and i think that's helped both of us tremendously.
oh, and he peed in the potty THREE times with only two accidents this morning. that's a winning record so far, people.
fun
wait a minute. was that a typo?? no, it was not. part of this process requires you to be with your child every moment he's awake. it's been so much fun to get to play with asher and pay this much attention to him. we make up fun potty songs and do excited potty dances. he helps me check his undawears to make sure they're still dry and we jump and shout and waaaahooooooo when they are. i'm so, so stinkin' proud of my stinker for trying so hard to use the big boy potty. like i said, this is a whole new world for him and he is adjusting so well. it's fun to see him succeed. it's fun to see how happy he is when he makes it to the potty. it's fun to know i'm helping him. it's fun to see his little undaweared booty running around the house. it's fun to just be with him. even if he pees in my lap.
ok, so he hasn't peed in my lap yet, BUT he did pee on bryan because he forgot to hold his diddle down so his peepee would go in the potty. i think we've mastered the diddle down position now though.
in conclusion, potty training is not as bad as i thought it would be...so far. did i mention he hasn't pooped yet?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
confession #7: i'm guilty too
earlier today i posted this facebook status:
"it bothers me when christians post youtube videos of socially awkward people singing and then make fun of them. don't get me wrong, i know they shouldn't have put ridiculous videos of themselves up for all the world to see, but how do you brutally make fun of those types of people on facebook and then go and minister to those same types of people in your life and church? it just seems a little twisted to me..."
it's an issue that has bothered me for a while now as i've been noticing that it's become quite a trend in facebook world even among my christian friends. i probably should've just kept my thoughts to myself. i now realize that this probably wasn't something to be discussed on facebook. i've been stewing over the issue all day since i posted it and i feel the need to apologize...
because i'm guilty too.
i think the same reason that people laugh at those videos is the same reason that people laugh at awkward people who fail miserably on those american idol try-outs because they can't sing but think they can. i need to confess that i have laughed plenty of times at those poor people. i have also been convicted of this because when i really think about why it feels so good to laugh at those people's expense i realize it's because i'm a sinner. i like to watch others fail because it makes me feel better about myself. i like to laugh at people who are weirder than me or uglier than me or more socially awkward than me because it makes me feel pretty dang good thinking that i'm not so bad after all. i have a filthy, self-absorbed sinner's heart and laughing at other's expense is just one way in which i let the whole world see it.
however, the Lord has been convicting me of these things and now when i see others on facebook or wherever making fun of these types of people, it hurts my heart. i get upset. i think, "what if that were my sweet asher? or my little buddy, nate? i would be heartbroken if i saw the awful comments people were making about them." and i think, "those poor people probably get made fun of every day by jerks like me. am i accurately representing Christ by teasing them??" like my mama always said: just 'cause every body else is doing it, don't mean it's right.
i know that it's the work of the Holy Spirit in my life that has transformed my heart and that is why i stand staunchly by these convictions. BUT just because He has changed my thoughts doesn't mean i have the right to press my convictions on others...and it certainly doesn't me that i am not guilty of very similar things in other areas of my life.
so, all that to say this: i apologize. i am guilty too.
"it bothers me when christians post youtube videos of socially awkward people singing and then make fun of them. don't get me wrong, i know they shouldn't have put ridiculous videos of themselves up for all the world to see, but how do you brutally make fun of those types of people on facebook and then go and minister to those same types of people in your life and church? it just seems a little twisted to me..."
it's an issue that has bothered me for a while now as i've been noticing that it's become quite a trend in facebook world even among my christian friends. i probably should've just kept my thoughts to myself. i now realize that this probably wasn't something to be discussed on facebook. i've been stewing over the issue all day since i posted it and i feel the need to apologize...
because i'm guilty too.
i think the same reason that people laugh at those videos is the same reason that people laugh at awkward people who fail miserably on those american idol try-outs because they can't sing but think they can. i need to confess that i have laughed plenty of times at those poor people. i have also been convicted of this because when i really think about why it feels so good to laugh at those people's expense i realize it's because i'm a sinner. i like to watch others fail because it makes me feel better about myself. i like to laugh at people who are weirder than me or uglier than me or more socially awkward than me because it makes me feel pretty dang good thinking that i'm not so bad after all. i have a filthy, self-absorbed sinner's heart and laughing at other's expense is just one way in which i let the whole world see it.
however, the Lord has been convicting me of these things and now when i see others on facebook or wherever making fun of these types of people, it hurts my heart. i get upset. i think, "what if that were my sweet asher? or my little buddy, nate? i would be heartbroken if i saw the awful comments people were making about them." and i think, "those poor people probably get made fun of every day by jerks like me. am i accurately representing Christ by teasing them??" like my mama always said: just 'cause every body else is doing it, don't mean it's right.
i know that it's the work of the Holy Spirit in my life that has transformed my heart and that is why i stand staunchly by these convictions. BUT just because He has changed my thoughts doesn't mean i have the right to press my convictions on others...and it certainly doesn't me that i am not guilty of very similar things in other areas of my life.
so, all that to say this: i apologize. i am guilty too.
playin' possum
me: ok, let's get that diaper changed and then you can watch your movie.
asher: nope.
me: yes. if you want to watch cars, then we need to change your poop first.
*he lays down on the couch, closes his eyes, and makes ridiculously exaggerated snoring noises.
asher: zzzzzzz (i don't know how to spell the aforementioned ridiculously exaggerated snoring noises)
me: asher, i know you're not sleeping. you still have to get your diaper changed.
*with his eyes still closed he says-
asher: nope.
although he plays a pretty convincing possum, he still got his diaper changed. i didn't fall for it.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
working hard
me: asher, please don't push on the keyboard. mama is trying to finish her paper.
asher: nope!
*he pushes the keys like a mad man
me: asher! i'm trying to work here!
asher: no, mama I trying to work hard.
me: you're working hard?
asher: yes, but i jus need to push dem buttons.
stinkers are a hindrance to getting work done.
a hilarious, stubborn, cuddly, sometimes-just-gotta-squish-him-because-he's-so-dang-cute hindrance.
asher: nope!
*he pushes the keys like a mad man
me: asher! i'm trying to work here!
asher: no, mama I trying to work hard.
me: you're working hard?
asher: yes, but i jus need to push dem buttons.
stinkers are a hindrance to getting work done.
a hilarious, stubborn, cuddly, sometimes-just-gotta-squish-him-because-he's-so-dang-cute hindrance.
termi-NATE-or
bryan is holding baby nate...
bryan: the terminator!! fighting all the bad guys and saving all the womens!!! (he's singing this and making nate dance to his song. i start laughing)
bryan: what you laughing at, wifey?
me: your little song.
bryan: that's what men do, wifey! fight them bad guys and save all the womens!
i'm so thankful that i've got three bad-guy-fighting, womens-saving men in my life. it is quite a blessing to get to do life with my 3 guys.
bryan: the terminator!! fighting all the bad guys and saving all the womens!!! (he's singing this and making nate dance to his song. i start laughing)
bryan: what you laughing at, wifey?
me: your little song.
bryan: that's what men do, wifey! fight them bad guys and save all the womens!
i'm so thankful that i've got three bad-guy-fighting, womens-saving men in my life. it is quite a blessing to get to do life with my 3 guys.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
nose pickery
me and the husb are both admitted nose pickers. everyone has to pick their nose at some point or they would have such fierce booger build up that it would hinder their ability to breathe. don't pretend like you don't do it. i won't believe you.
me: can you hand me a kleenex? i got boogs.
husb: no, quit having boogs! just sprinkle them on the floor. we vacuum pretty regularly.
me: huuuuuuusb!
since we already established that everyone picks their nose it's safe to assume that everyone also has a different style of nose pickery. bryan is a sprinkler. he also has been known to swipe them under the seat of the car while driving. i, on the other hand, prefer a flicking method or just a kleenex (bryan needed me to tell you that he has been the victim of many a boogy flick.)
i just felt the need to let you in on our most intimate secrets.
you should know that i giggled the whole time i was typing this because i think we're so dang funny. i apologize if boogies gross you out, but, like i said, you gotta do something with those guys as to avoid nostril incapacitation.
me: can you hand me a kleenex? i got boogs.
husb: no, quit having boogs! just sprinkle them on the floor. we vacuum pretty regularly.
me: huuuuuuusb!
since we already established that everyone picks their nose it's safe to assume that everyone also has a different style of nose pickery. bryan is a sprinkler. he also has been known to swipe them under the seat of the car while driving. i, on the other hand, prefer a flicking method or just a kleenex (bryan needed me to tell you that he has been the victim of many a boogy flick.)
i just felt the need to let you in on our most intimate secrets.
you should know that i giggled the whole time i was typing this because i think we're so dang funny. i apologize if boogies gross you out, but, like i said, you gotta do something with those guys as to avoid nostril incapacitation.
an excuse to avoid spring cleaning?
bry: we should probably try to do something about those cobwebs up there.
me: yeah, i've noticed them too.
*pause
me: husb, let's just leave them there and they can be cool decorations for halloween!
bry: in our seminary housing where we're not allowed to decorate for halloween?
me: it's natural decor, husb. we didn't put them there.
bry: or maybe we could have a judgement house!
me: yeah!!!
all that to say, we should probably do some spring cleaning and get on those cobwebs.
me: yeah, i've noticed them too.
*pause
me: husb, let's just leave them there and they can be cool decorations for halloween!
bry: in our seminary housing where we're not allowed to decorate for halloween?
me: it's natural decor, husb. we didn't put them there.
bry: or maybe we could have a judgement house!
me: yeah!!!
all that to say, we should probably do some spring cleaning and get on those cobwebs.
just call me sarge
me: ok, asher. you have to be still because i'm changing a stinky poopy. no kicking.
asher: yeah, dat's a big ol' poopy.
me: yep.
asher: sheeeeeeeeeew. it stinky.
me: yep. you need to tell me when you need to go poo-poo so that you can use the potty like a big boy.
asher: yeah.
*he looks down at me cleaning his dirty bottom.
asher: i jus got chokate ice cweam on da butt.
me: ew. i hope not.
gross, i know.
in other potty-related news, asher has been consistently going for long periods of time without going pee or poop in his diaper. i've noticed a couple of times that he's made it all the way through nap without going. this morning we went to the park and by the time we got home and ate lunch, it was time for nap. i got ready to change his diaper and noticed it was still dry! he had gone almost 2 1/2 hours without peepsing or poopsing! so i decided he should sit on the potty before going down for a nap. and we sat...
and sat...
and read a book about a little boy who goes potty and then gets to wear big boy undawears. apparently, not a very convincing read because we still sat...
and sat...
and finally mama decided that her little stinker was just stalling so he wouldn't have to go take a nap...
so he went down for his nap and when he woke up he peed and pooped in his diaper.
a friend told me about a 3-day potty training bootcamp. i think it's about time to get serious with his stubborn booty. oh, you'll know when i decide to get started. it should produce some extremely frustratingly funny, blog-worthy moments.
maybe i'll even make asher start calling me sarge.
asher: yeah, dat's a big ol' poopy.
me: yep.
asher: sheeeeeeeeeew. it stinky.
me: yep. you need to tell me when you need to go poo-poo so that you can use the potty like a big boy.
asher: yeah.
*he looks down at me cleaning his dirty bottom.
asher: i jus got chokate ice cweam on da butt.
me: ew. i hope not.
gross, i know.
in other potty-related news, asher has been consistently going for long periods of time without going pee or poop in his diaper. i've noticed a couple of times that he's made it all the way through nap without going. this morning we went to the park and by the time we got home and ate lunch, it was time for nap. i got ready to change his diaper and noticed it was still dry! he had gone almost 2 1/2 hours without peepsing or poopsing! so i decided he should sit on the potty before going down for a nap. and we sat...
and sat...
and read a book about a little boy who goes potty and then gets to wear big boy undawears. apparently, not a very convincing read because we still sat...
and sat...
and finally mama decided that her little stinker was just stalling so he wouldn't have to go take a nap...
so he went down for his nap and when he woke up he peed and pooped in his diaper.
a friend told me about a 3-day potty training bootcamp. i think it's about time to get serious with his stubborn booty. oh, you'll know when i decide to get started. it should produce some extremely frustratingly funny, blog-worthy moments.
maybe i'll even make asher start calling me sarge.
wake up call
in the wee hours of the morning, i felt something poke me in the eye as i was sleeping. i opened my other non-poke-impaired eye to find asher standing next to the bed trying to put my glasses on my face for me.
me: what are you doing? (i groggily whisper)
asher: gotta get dese gwasses on, mama. (he whispers back)
me: it's not time to get up yet. what time is it?
asher: i not know. yes, it time to get up.
*i check my phone which says 6:32 a.m.
me: 6:30. shewf.
asher: get up, mama.
me: i don't wanna. it's too early.
asher: it time a get up now, mama. gotta go in der now.
me: ugh. ok, i'm coming.
i have a feeling this conversation will be reversed in a few years.
except maybe i will decide to homeschool and then i can decide when school starts and we can all sleep gloriously late.
and by "gloriously late" i mean like 8:00 in the morning.
because that sounds glorious and late to me these days.
me: what are you doing? (i groggily whisper)
asher: gotta get dese gwasses on, mama. (he whispers back)
me: it's not time to get up yet. what time is it?
asher: i not know. yes, it time to get up.
*i check my phone which says 6:32 a.m.
me: 6:30. shewf.
asher: get up, mama.
me: i don't wanna. it's too early.
asher: it time a get up now, mama. gotta go in der now.
me: ugh. ok, i'm coming.
i have a feeling this conversation will be reversed in a few years.
except maybe i will decide to homeschool and then i can decide when school starts and we can all sleep gloriously late.
and by "gloriously late" i mean like 8:00 in the morning.
because that sounds glorious and late to me these days.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
the mommy look
they say every mommy has a look that strikes fear into the hearts of their children...
me: ok, bud. it's time to get out of the bath and get dried off.
asher: NOOOOOOOOOOO! (he yells at me)
me: *i don't say a word. i just mommy stare him down.
asher: ok! sowry, mama. i try and get out now.
*he immediately scoots his little booty right out of the tub
me: thank you, asher.
i just feel like i've hit a milestone in mommydom.
and now it's on like donkey kong! woot woot!
let the fear and trembling commence among the offspring of the clan of mcclelland for mother hath perfected her dreaded mommy look!
don't make me give you the look. it's a dangerous weapon, but i'm not afraid to use it.
can you tell i'm proud of myself?
me: ok, bud. it's time to get out of the bath and get dried off.
asher: NOOOOOOOOOOO! (he yells at me)
me: *i don't say a word. i just mommy stare him down.
asher: ok! sowry, mama. i try and get out now.
*he immediately scoots his little booty right out of the tub
me: thank you, asher.
i just feel like i've hit a milestone in mommydom.
and now it's on like donkey kong! woot woot!
let the fear and trembling commence among the offspring of the clan of mcclelland for mother hath perfected her dreaded mommy look!
don't make me give you the look. it's a dangerous weapon, but i'm not afraid to use it.
can you tell i'm proud of myself?
the manboy
bryan, asher, baby nate and i were all sitting on the couch together this fine saturday morning when asher graced us with hiking his little booty up and pooting three times in a row!! bryan and i both look at him in surprise. he looks from me to bryan and with a sweet, sheepish grin says-
asher: sowry! i just poots!
bry: you pooted?! you got poots?!
asher: yes...
me: hahahahaha
just like a man...or boy...just like a manboy!
asher: sowry! i just poots!
bry: you pooted?! you got poots?!
asher: yes...
me: hahahahaha
just like a man...or boy...just like a manboy!
Friday, April 8, 2011
confession #6: why we're straight up crazy parents
1. we're seriously considering homeschooling
not because i want my kids to live in a christian-bubble-pseudo reality, but because i want to have the chance to build a firm foundation before i thrust them into the hard-knock public school system. i want them to be confident and capable of making their own decisions without being swayed by the public opinion. i want them to spend the majority of their time in a loving, encouraging, and secure environment and to not have to worry about keeping up with everyone else. i want them to have some idea of who they are and who they want to become before a bazillion different people are telling them a bazillion different things they have to say and do to be "cool." i've heard horror stories of kids having sex in the 5th grade, of lesbianism being the cool thing to do in middle school, and of a first grader bringing a condom to school and explaining what it is used for. don't get me wrong, i totally understand that homeschooling won't make my children's lives problem-free and easy breezy and i don't want them to be sheltered, anti-social mama's boys, but i believe (and have seen) that homeschooling can be done effectively and non-awkward-children-producingly. so scoff if you want, but we're considering giving it a try.
2. our kids will never have cable TV access or computers in their bedrooms
thus far in our lives, the Lord has blessed us with two sweet, baby boys who will eventually become two, maturing teenage boys.
and teenage boys like to look at naked girls.
and pornography is way too easily accessible and way too dangerous.
therefore, as long as they're living under our roof, they will never have a computer or cable tv in their room. they just won't. end of discussion. i don't care how responsible and innocent they may seem, easy-eye access to sex and naked girls is just too much of a temptation for most teenage boys to resist (and latest statistics show this applies to girls now too.) their future wives can thank me later.
3. we won't teach our kids that santa claus is a real person
why do people get so worked up about this issue? some people get really upset when we tell them this. i mean, it's not like we've decided to lie to our kids and teach them that a fictional character is real so that we can use him to manipulate their behavior thus teaching them to live a works-based lifestyle so that if they're "good" by a certain fictional character's standards then they get rewarded for it...oh, wait. and what about the kids whose parents can't afford tons of presents? does that teach them it's because they're perpetually naughty? a professor at NGU once told us that when he found out his parents had been lying to him about santa claus that it shook the foundations of his faith in Christ as well. if his parents were lying to him about that, then why should he believe the stories about God that they had told him? that's pretty much when we decided that believing in santa wasn't really worth it. the issue isn't that we want to stifle their imagination, but that we don't want to outright lie to them. we don't mind if our kids enjoy watching santa movies and reading santa books, but we refuse to play the santa's-really-watching-you game. please don't try to make us feel like we are ruining their childhood. there are other ways to encourage an awesome imagination. i promise we won't condition them to break the news of santa's fictionality to every kid they meet. this is a interesting article by mark driscoll on the subject.
4. they won't have a cell phone until they are driving
call me crazy, but why do 8 year olds need cell phones? i am terribly confused as to why your young child would be in a situation where there's not an adult around with access to a phone in case they need to get in touch with you. when they're old enough to drive by themselves and they may need a cell in case of an emergency, then they can have one. go ahead, i already gave you permission to call me crazy.
5. we will discipline
please, parents, take the time and effort to discipline your children. do it for their sake. no one wants to be around a bratty, spoiled, gotta-have-my-way-or-i'll-pitch-a-fit whiner baby. i certainly don't want to have to endure them and i don't want my kids picking up any of their bad habits. teach your kids right from wrong. i understand that kids have little rebellious sinner's hearts just like the rest of us and sometimes they are disobedient and selfish no matter how well-disciplined they are, but sometimes they are brats because their parents just won't get them under control. we have decided to dare to discipline our children (thanks, dr. dobson, for that catchy phrase) no matter how difficult or tedious or repetitive it may be, it's worth it for us and them in the long run.
i told you, we are straight up crazy parents...
and we're decidedly ok with that.
not because i want my kids to live in a christian-bubble-pseudo reality, but because i want to have the chance to build a firm foundation before i thrust them into the hard-knock public school system. i want them to be confident and capable of making their own decisions without being swayed by the public opinion. i want them to spend the majority of their time in a loving, encouraging, and secure environment and to not have to worry about keeping up with everyone else. i want them to have some idea of who they are and who they want to become before a bazillion different people are telling them a bazillion different things they have to say and do to be "cool." i've heard horror stories of kids having sex in the 5th grade, of lesbianism being the cool thing to do in middle school, and of a first grader bringing a condom to school and explaining what it is used for. don't get me wrong, i totally understand that homeschooling won't make my children's lives problem-free and easy breezy and i don't want them to be sheltered, anti-social mama's boys, but i believe (and have seen) that homeschooling can be done effectively and non-awkward-children-producingly. so scoff if you want, but we're considering giving it a try.
2. our kids will never have cable TV access or computers in their bedrooms
thus far in our lives, the Lord has blessed us with two sweet, baby boys who will eventually become two, maturing teenage boys.
and teenage boys like to look at naked girls.
and pornography is way too easily accessible and way too dangerous.
therefore, as long as they're living under our roof, they will never have a computer or cable tv in their room. they just won't. end of discussion. i don't care how responsible and innocent they may seem, easy-eye access to sex and naked girls is just too much of a temptation for most teenage boys to resist (and latest statistics show this applies to girls now too.) their future wives can thank me later.
3. we won't teach our kids that santa claus is a real person
why do people get so worked up about this issue? some people get really upset when we tell them this. i mean, it's not like we've decided to lie to our kids and teach them that a fictional character is real so that we can use him to manipulate their behavior thus teaching them to live a works-based lifestyle so that if they're "good" by a certain fictional character's standards then they get rewarded for it...oh, wait. and what about the kids whose parents can't afford tons of presents? does that teach them it's because they're perpetually naughty? a professor at NGU once told us that when he found out his parents had been lying to him about santa claus that it shook the foundations of his faith in Christ as well. if his parents were lying to him about that, then why should he believe the stories about God that they had told him? that's pretty much when we decided that believing in santa wasn't really worth it. the issue isn't that we want to stifle their imagination, but that we don't want to outright lie to them. we don't mind if our kids enjoy watching santa movies and reading santa books, but we refuse to play the santa's-really-watching-you game. please don't try to make us feel like we are ruining their childhood. there are other ways to encourage an awesome imagination. i promise we won't condition them to break the news of santa's fictionality to every kid they meet. this is a interesting article by mark driscoll on the subject.
4. they won't have a cell phone until they are driving
call me crazy, but why do 8 year olds need cell phones? i am terribly confused as to why your young child would be in a situation where there's not an adult around with access to a phone in case they need to get in touch with you. when they're old enough to drive by themselves and they may need a cell in case of an emergency, then they can have one. go ahead, i already gave you permission to call me crazy.
5. we will discipline
please, parents, take the time and effort to discipline your children. do it for their sake. no one wants to be around a bratty, spoiled, gotta-have-my-way-or-i'll-pitch-a-fit whiner baby. i certainly don't want to have to endure them and i don't want my kids picking up any of their bad habits. teach your kids right from wrong. i understand that kids have little rebellious sinner's hearts just like the rest of us and sometimes they are disobedient and selfish no matter how well-disciplined they are, but sometimes they are brats because their parents just won't get them under control. we have decided to dare to discipline our children (thanks, dr. dobson, for that catchy phrase) no matter how difficult or tedious or repetitive it may be, it's worth it for us and them in the long run.
i told you, we are straight up crazy parents...
and we're decidedly ok with that.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
hey, jealousy
*bryan is hugging me
asher: hey! stop it! you can't get dat mama!
bryan: what?! i'm just hugging her. she's my wifey.
asher: no! it's not a wipey! it's a mama!
bryan: she's a wifey too!
asher: nope! she my mama! you can't get her! stop it!
bryan: nope.
asher: wanna hoooooold you, mama!
asher doesn't like to share his mama.
asher: hey! stop it! you can't get dat mama!
bryan: what?! i'm just hugging her. she's my wifey.
asher: no! it's not a wipey! it's a mama!
bryan: she's a wifey too!
asher: nope! she my mama! you can't get her! stop it!
bryan: nope.
asher: wanna hoooooold you, mama!
asher doesn't like to share his mama.
baby poop
me: gotta change brother's diaper.
asher: yep.
me: oh! he pooped!
asher: yep. he poop.
me: yeah.
asher: wook at dat! he got pway-doh on da butt!
play-doh on the butt sounds like a pretty serious condition. who let that baby sit in play-doh?!
asher: yep.
me: oh! he pooped!
asher: yep. he poop.
me: yeah.
asher: wook at dat! he got pway-doh on da butt!
play-doh on the butt sounds like a pretty serious condition. who let that baby sit in play-doh?!
awkwardly hilarious
it took me a while to decide if this was blog appropriate, so let me just apologize in advance if you find it appalling that i would share this conversation with the world. however, i find it too funny and too true to what life is like with little boys to not share...here we go!
as previously stated, we're trying to keep asher out of the bathroom when i'm showering simply because he's getting older and becoming more aware and asking questions. today, he barged in as i was drying off after my shower.
asher: der's mama's belly!
me: yep.
asher: what's dat, mama?
me: ummm...that's mama's hoohoo.
*i quickly wrap the towel around myself
asher: mama's hoohoo?!
* he chuckles to himself
asher: no, mama!! dat's your butt!
me: *laughing too hysterically to respond
i warned you it was awkward.
and hilarious.
welcome to my world.
as previously stated, we're trying to keep asher out of the bathroom when i'm showering simply because he's getting older and becoming more aware and asking questions. today, he barged in as i was drying off after my shower.
asher: der's mama's belly!
me: yep.
asher: what's dat, mama?
me: ummm...that's mama's hoohoo.
*i quickly wrap the towel around myself
asher: mama's hoohoo?!
* he chuckles to himself
asher: no, mama!! dat's your butt!
me: *laughing too hysterically to respond
i warned you it was awkward.
and hilarious.
welcome to my world.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
sweet boy
we went to the playground today to play with some friends. baby nate and i sat down at a picnic table beside the playground and watched asher play. here's a convo i overheard between him and an older girl.
asher: hey, wittle gurl. see dat ober der? dat's my mama standing ober der. you see her?
little girl: *stares at asher. then at me. then back at asher.
asher: hey, mama!!
*he waves his hand at me and smiles really big.
asher: dat's my mama!
*asher runs off to play some more. the little girl gives him a "who cares, kid?" kind of look.
i'm so proud that he's so proud to show off his mommy...even if the other kids give him strange looks.
he may be the stinkiest stinkin' stinker there is, but he's also positively heart melting.
asher: hey, wittle gurl. see dat ober der? dat's my mama standing ober der. you see her?
little girl: *stares at asher. then at me. then back at asher.
asher: hey, mama!!
*he waves his hand at me and smiles really big.
asher: dat's my mama!
*asher runs off to play some more. the little girl gives him a "who cares, kid?" kind of look.
i'm so proud that he's so proud to show off his mommy...even if the other kids give him strange looks.
he may be the stinkiest stinkin' stinker there is, but he's also positively heart melting.
my son is a magician
asher: what happened, mama?
*asher jumps off of the end of the coffee table where he was sitting
me: i don't know. what is that?
*there's a puddle on the coffee table
asher: i not know!
*he slaps the puddle of whatever with his hand
me: did you spill your juice?
*then i notice he doesn't have his juice
asher: nope.
me: did you wet through your diaper already?!
asher: nope.
*i feel his diaper and it's dry
me: well, what is that?
after some quick investigating (i smelled it. bad idea.), i discovered it was definitely pee. however, i was baffled because, as previously stated, his diaper was dry. then i realized that somehow asher had magically finagled his diddle out the side of his diaper and then peed...directly on top of my coffee table. i have no idea how he got the didster outside of the diaper.
he's magic.
boys are so weird.
have i mentioned lately that i have a stinker problem?
*asher jumps off of the end of the coffee table where he was sitting
me: i don't know. what is that?
*there's a puddle on the coffee table
asher: i not know!
*he slaps the puddle of whatever with his hand
me: did you spill your juice?
*then i notice he doesn't have his juice
asher: nope.
me: did you wet through your diaper already?!
asher: nope.
*i feel his diaper and it's dry
me: well, what is that?
after some quick investigating (i smelled it. bad idea.), i discovered it was definitely pee. however, i was baffled because, as previously stated, his diaper was dry. then i realized that somehow asher had magically finagled his diddle out the side of his diaper and then peed...directly on top of my coffee table. i have no idea how he got the didster outside of the diaper.
he's magic.
boys are so weird.
have i mentioned lately that i have a stinker problem?
asher's crab
asher: i gotta crwab, mama. wook at dat crwab!
me: what? a crab?
asher: yep.
*he points to his knee
me: oh! you mean, a scab!
asher: yes. a crwab.
bryan taught asher that the booboo on his knee has a scab on it. apparently, it has a crustacean on it as well.
me: what? a crab?
asher: yep.
*he points to his knee
me: oh! you mean, a scab!
asher: yes. a crwab.
bryan taught asher that the booboo on his knee has a scab on it. apparently, it has a crustacean on it as well.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
asher's imagination
i've noticed that asher has really begun to use his imagination. here are some of my favorites that i've heard over the past week:
*talking to a green duck made from play-doh
asher: oh! hey, duck. what's up? what you do? i just playing play-doh with mommy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*holding a block over his head
asher: you hear dat?
me: what is it?
asher: dat's a heddacopter fwying up in da sky, mama!
*he zooms his block around
me: oh yeah! look at that helicopter!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*holding a play-doh ball
asher: i playing baseball!!
(sigh. i had hoped he'd be a basketball man.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*holding a #8 play-doh cutter
asher: it's a # H, mama! (we're working on letters and numbers. sometimes he calls the #8 the #H. i imagine it is a little confusing since they're only one sound different)
*he holds the #8 up in the sky
asher: it's dark, mama! see da moon? the #H is in the sky on da moon!
*talking to a green duck made from play-doh
asher: oh! hey, duck. what's up? what you do? i just playing play-doh with mommy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*holding a block over his head
asher: you hear dat?
me: what is it?
asher: dat's a heddacopter fwying up in da sky, mama!
*he zooms his block around
me: oh yeah! look at that helicopter!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*holding a play-doh ball
asher: i playing baseball!!
(sigh. i had hoped he'd be a basketball man.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
*holding a #8 play-doh cutter
asher: it's a # H, mama! (we're working on letters and numbers. sometimes he calls the #8 the #H. i imagine it is a little confusing since they're only one sound different)
*he holds the #8 up in the sky
asher: it's dark, mama! see da moon? the #H is in the sky on da moon!
4 eyes
asher: look at mommy's eye!
*he pokes his finger under my glasses
me: yes. how many eyes does mommy have?
asher: one, two...thwee!
me: three? let me count. one and two! only two!
asher: no, thwee, mama.
me: no, we only have two eyes. one, two.
asher: no, mama. one, two, thwee, four!
me: four eyes?
asher: yes! mama got four eyes!
keep it up, kid. between me and your daddy, odds are you'll be wearing glasses soon too.
*he pokes his finger under my glasses
me: yes. how many eyes does mommy have?
asher: one, two...thwee!
me: three? let me count. one and two! only two!
asher: no, thwee, mama.
me: no, we only have two eyes. one, two.
asher: no, mama. one, two, thwee, four!
me: four eyes?
asher: yes! mama got four eyes!
keep it up, kid. between me and your daddy, odds are you'll be wearing glasses soon too.
Monday, April 4, 2011
big boy baby nate
asher: wook, mama. baby nate is roahwen ober.
me: oh! he is trying to roll over! you're right, asher!
asher: yep. he's just roahwen, mama.
for the past week or so, baby nate has been trying his darndest to roll over. when i lay him on his back to play, he'll roll up on his side and play like that for a while, then roll back flat. he hasn't quite learned how to get his chubby, little arm out from underneath him yet, but i have a feeling it won't be long until he's rolling like a pro.
me: oh! he is trying to roll over! you're right, asher!
asher: yep. he's just roahwen, mama.
for the past week or so, baby nate has been trying his darndest to roll over. when i lay him on his back to play, he'll roll up on his side and play like that for a while, then roll back flat. he hasn't quite learned how to get his chubby, little arm out from underneath him yet, but i have a feeling it won't be long until he's rolling like a pro.
go buy the CD!
some of my very dearest, bestest friends also happen to be some of the very loveliest, bestest musicians.
the stinker says...
the stinker says...
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